(Closed) I’m at a loss here…and I would really like to not go to court/jail.

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
6430 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

If he’s already told her not to contact him and she continues to do so, as long as he doesn’t respond to her anymore, that’s on her not him. There’s really not much he can do to stop someone who is determined to contact him.

Also, you should really stop threatening divorce as some type of bargaining chip. It’s really manipulative, and extremely hurtful to a marriage.

Post # 4
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee

Wait, I don’t understand how this is related to you going to jail. Are you threatening to attack her or something?

He’s not contacting her and seems not to have any feelings for her, right? So why does it even matter? If she’s actually stalking him, you could take legal action. But calling someone’s mom to wish a happy holiday is not really stalking, especially if they haven’t been in contact for over a month. Why are you so worried about this? I think maybe you need to have a mature, calm talk with your husband about the situation and how you feel. Maybe he can reassure you that he’s only interested in you.

Post # 5
Member
6574 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

your husband told her to go away. She didn’t. You can either make a huge deal of things, including threatening a beat-down and pressuring your husband to tell the “chick” to go jump off a cliff (or worse); or you can stop letting it get under your skin, trust that your husband wants his life with you, and understand that he can’t “make” her stop calling, any more than anyone can “make” anyone do anything. your choice. Doesn’t sound like you’ve made the right choices so far though.

Post # 7
Member
1702 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
gemchick82:  Why are you so threatened by her? You said that you yourself have male friends–how is this different? And what does jail have to do with any of this?

Post # 8
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Local Resort

Edited: not worth being mean! Disregard 🙂

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by ChicagoSLK.
Post # 9
Member
10284 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Why would you go to jail? 

Your husband appears to be being semi-stalked by this woman whom he met in a ” mental health facility” by your account. He should contact the facility and the police. You should not be talking to her or threatening her. 

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by BalletParker.
  • This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by BalletParker.
Post # 10
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

uhhhhh this is ridiculous. you could both have heard ‘so and so called to say merry christmas’ from his mother and chosen to look at each other, roll your eyes and say ‘please don’t give out our personal info to her, we don’t want her to contact us’ and then gone on with your christmas….

instead, you’re threatening divorce, vaguely threatening violence (you refuse to ‘go to jail’ for her, and she’s deserving of a beating….nice) and generally letting it ruin your holiday. WHO CARES? if you don’t respond, and he doesn’t respond…..she’ll just leave you alone! 

if she shows up to your house, then yes, you have a problem. if she repeatedly calls your home after calmly being told she needs to stop, then yes, you have a problem. 

but someone called his mother’s house with a merry christmas greeting? yeah, roll your eyes and move on, unless you’re actively looking for drama and a way to blow something annoying but not a big deal completely out of proportion. in that case, continue as you are. 

Post # 11
Member
13800 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
gemchick82:  So if you threatened divorce five months into your marriage, do you mean to say their affair happened since you are  married?! If so, you certainly left an important detail out of that original post.  

Or did you only “think” he was having an affair? 

Post # 12
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Could you clarify how you think you’d wind up in jail because of this? Are you afraid she’d attack you? Or that you’d assault her? 

If you and your husband have already asked her o stop calling but she hasn’t…that’s on her. Not your husband. Also…now that you know that he’s not having an affair with her AND that he’s asked her to stop contacting her why would this issue end up with divorce? I’m sorry but I don’t understand; it seems like a lot of non sequiturs to me.

Post # 13
Member
6263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m confused where jail comes from……maybe I don’t want to know…

Post # 15
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Well colour me confused…

Has he seen this girl or not? Has he slept with her? What does jail have to do with anything?

The topic ‘I’m at a loss here…and I would really like to not go to court/jail.’ is closed to new replies.

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