- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
So before my husband and I met, he was having a really rough go at his life – failed marriage, young child, depression, and suicidal. The end result was him having an “extended stay” at a mental health facility to piece his life back together and living with his parents for a while thereafter. During his recovery, he met this chick, who was married to someone else, and they became friends.
About 5 years ago, my husband and I met, and during that time the women hadn’t been involved in his life as she had her own life and husband to attend to.
We got married in June and suddenly this chick has popped back up because her husband and her are on the outs and getting a divorce. At first, before I got the whole story, I figured oh it’s just an old friend congratulating him on his marriage and catching up. My husband doesn’t have many friends. No biggie. After all I have male friends, many with wives, and there’s nothing there.
So 5 months into what should be the happiest time of my life, I’m discussing divorce with my husband because I’m like who is this chick, why is she texting you so much (multiple times a day), and why do you care after over 5 years of her being a nonfactor. His response was basically a wanting to be helpful/ Savior/ Knight in Shining Armor issue. He also provided some back story about how her husband used to beat her up and how she felt sorry for her, etc. etc.
After a rough couple of weeks, we came to a plan of him talking to her…that didn’t work, him sending her a goodbye text…that didn’t work, me talking to her and talking a bit out of character crazy to the chick…that worked, and him blocking her number from text and calls…that worked.
Finally silence and we can move past this.
Wrong. Now 6 months since we’ve been married and this chick called his mother (same house phone for 25+ years) to wish him a Merry Christmas and check on him? I love my ILs but they can be kinda overly helpful ditzy (Oh Hi, That’s the right cellphone number, Do you want the house number? He doesn’t live here anymore…do you want his new address?) type people. He’s already talked to his parents about this and at their age they are forgetful and just like being helpful.
Tonight we’re supposed to go over there for Xmas and in the process try to decipher what exactly his mother told this chick. Cryptic doesn’t even being to discuss how she can be when she thinks she’s done something wrong. Eventually, she shuts down and we’ll never get the full story.
I’m at a loss because I love my husband and I want to continue being married to him, but not if he’s going to have this chick floating around in the background. I don’t have this issue with my male friends. They respect me, my husband and my marriage.
I know, it was just Merry Christmas. The holidays are when lots of people reconnect. Um, if you just got cursed out the month before by his wife saying don’t Fing call him ever again, why would you wish someone Merry Christmas, let alone call his mother to pass the message? To me, she’s stepped well beyond the level of disrespect and is heading for a beat down in some neighborhoods.
I’m angry. I don’t understand why he’s not capable of being firm enough with her (ex. Leave me the F alone!) that she’s will actually listen and back off. I shouldn’t have to give a string of out of character curse words to make my point to the chick. I refuse to go to court/jail over any stupid. I told my husband already, this is his problem and he needs to fix it. He says he’s going to work on it and emphasizes that the issue is her not him, he doesn’t want to lose me, she’s just not listening.
All I can say is Merry Christmas to me. If it’s not bad enough I’m having issues with my family since getting married; now, I’m dealing with this. I don’t understand why chicks don’t understand and respect the wife. This is not how I thought my first Christmas in our new home was going to be spent.
Anyone got any advice?