(Closed) I'm at the end of my rope with my mom, but still can't just cut her off!

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Pleasr re-read what you just posted…  of course you feel guilty! That’s how she wants you to feel. I would look up adult children of alcoholics, they have lots of support groups and you will see they feel similiar to you. Addicts try to make everyone else the problem so they don’t have to take responsibility for their choices. Being partially raised by an addict it’s no wonder you feel so responsible and guilty.

My “dad” has been on meth/crack since I was two. My mom has been an alcoholic and random drug addict since who knows when. They combined assured a horrible childhood for me but I always felt obligated to keep them in my lives and take care of them. But did they feel obligated to care for me the way they should have when they chose to have me? Nope.

For my dad it took until three years ago for me to see I owed him nothing. His first time meeting my three year old and he haf us drive him to his dealers house going crazy eith my kid right next to him. It took him risking my child too see I owed him nothing more than he gave me, which was nothing. .

Mom on the other hand it took until six months ago for me to let yhe guilt and obligation go. When my daughter looked in the mirror at five saying she hated the way she looked poking at her belly. My mom liked to get drunk and poke my daughters belly saying my girl had a big belly even though my kid is totally healthy. Of course mom tried turning the blame on me saying any other parent would have given up on me long ago… even though I am a great person with my ish together.

Hopefully it won’t take so much for you before you throw in the towel. You have already given more chances than she deserved. You have gone above and beyond. Keeping her in your life will only provide pain to anyone close. It is a sad truth and hard to let go of the mom you always wanted but never had. I’m the only of my siblings to be able to do this to either, let alone both, parents.

Somehow after cutting her out my life fell into perfect harmony. I became a new person, felt empowered and a heavy weight lifted.it was hard especially when she was trying to make me feel like I was the one in the wrong but ultimately her guilt trips reassured me that I was doing the right thing.

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