(Closed) I’m back and I need help please, Bees!

posted 9 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
3519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Try joining pinterest.  You can go on and find little things that you think look good, and just keep track of them as you go.

I would also just go read reviews of venues to get an idea of what might work for you.  Once you visit a few, they’ll give you more information on what they offer and then you can decorate around that.

Post # 4
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Concentrate on one thing at a time. Right now, I would say that that one thing should be finding your ceremony/reception location, and nailing down a date – so much of everything else is dependent on this piece, it’s really hard to start making decisions until you’ve got it figured out.

Try to not let the enormity of it all overwhelm you – you really do not need to worry about things like linens or dessert just yet, all of that will come in time. Just concentrate on a venue and a date right now, and once you have that, you will feel so much better!

Best of luck!

Post # 5
6244 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

The most important thing to do first, IMO, is make a budget.  This will help you determine most other things.  In our case, the budget is dynamic and we use it as a guideline.  We also have a section with line items for EVERYTHING.  I really wanted to see how our money is being alloted.  We did research online to estimate things like postage, transportation, etc.  As we book vendors we replace the “estimated” costs with the “real” costs.  It is really helpful.

The second thing is to book your venue.  For me, it took MONTHS of researching & visiting venues before I narrowed it down to a few.  In most cases you won’t be able to book any other vendors until you have a solid date, and you won’t have a solid date until you book your venue.  The venue was the biggest hurdle in my case. Also, not to scare you (as I scare you) but everything around here booked up like that *snaps fingers* within a few weeks at the end of the summer.  We are getting married in Sept 2012 and venues around here were booked almost solid from April to November 2012 by the end of the 2011 summer.  Yikes.  That caused a lot of stress.  So not to be pushy but get your butt in gear as far as booking a venue goes since I see that you want a Sept/Oct 2012 wedding. 

Sorry if I stressed you out but I would hate to see you miss out on a great venue or vendor because you waited too long to book them. 

Oh, and enjoy this because it will be so worth it in a few months when you marry your Fiance.  Smile

Post # 6
2689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m still waiting, but I’ve been work on my preliminary planning too, so I can give you some advice from what I’m experiencing.

Like PP’s have said, picking a date is number one. Also, go and look at venues. Ik you said you’re not motivated, but knowing what a venue offers helps to get rid of some of the other things you mentioned. Your venue may include linens, or centerpieces, or whatever. Knowing what you already have to work with helps you create a more concrete idea of what you want.

After you nail down the venue, I would look at dresses next. So much of the “feel” of your wedding flows from that, that you can do a lot of the detail type stuff after you have it.

Good luck and keep us updated!

Post # 7
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Start with the big things and the little things will come after that.  Start with finding a venue and that will help you pick the date – we picked a date first and then found a venue and realized they didn’t have our date, so we changed it…so I’d start with a venue.  The venue will help point you in the right direction as far as the next decisions, and just take each one at a time.  They should have ideas for you in regards to caterers, music, florists, cakes, etc. Then look at some dresses and see what you like – you have time so no need to feel pressure.  Enjoy it!  

Post # 8
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Start with venue and budget. In NJ and NY they go pretty fast. For a October 2012 you want to start -not to scare you- yesterday. Especially since you have specific months in mind.

I will tell you with wineries. In LI they are VERY expensive. Up in Hudson Valley they are ….. very rustic to put it nicely. Wineries are really at their peak in August/September so I might stay from October if you decide winery.

Post # 9
375 posts
Helper bee

Oh, yes, as PP said: make a budget! Then look for venues in that budget and book on to get your date set. After that, things will start to fall into place.

Post # 10
10713 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I totally agree with PP’s. Set your budget and start looking at venues in your budget first! Once you find your venue you can set a date based on their availability and the time of year you would like to get married. After that you can pick your colors or theme and make inspiration boards. Then start looking at the other big things like catering, photographers, dj… once you find a venue it all starts to fall into place so nicely.

Post # 11
4674 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Getting your ceremony and reception venues are #1 at this point…  things fill up FAST! (my venue only had two openings in August fof 2012 when we called in mid/end July).  I also agree budget should come up with that.  Also start researching wedding professionals in your area.  This may help you put together your budget, as well as complete the second thing you need to do…  find and hire your wedding professionals… (photog, dj, ect) These people book up quickly too.  After that take a gaint sigh of relief and let everything fall into place! 

Post # 12
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with PPs who said one thing at a time–trying to look at everything at once and see the big picture can be really overwhelming!

We started with a budget and a guest list/idea of how many people we could invite. Next we made a list of our top three priorities (in our case, live band, open bar, sit-down dinner) and worked on planning and booking vendors based on those priorities. Usually that means we compromised on some of the other details to fit our budget. Deciding our priorities first definitely helped guide our decisions and spending.

After you pick a venue and a date (sometimes a date based on venue availability), it’s much easier to get started on the other aspects, especially depending on how many services your venue includes. Once you get the major details hammered out everything else becomes so much more manageable. Good luck!

Post # 13
10 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

Hey, I’m in the earlier stages of planning too, but I think you should think about planning your wedding like this:

1. Who do you want to be there? Make a spreadsheet on google.docs and list all of your people you just couldn’t get married without; include addresses, phone numbers, and number of guests per invite. You can add your mom and Future Mother-In-Law to the editors’ list if you want so they can collect addresses too. I have a column designating people as A listers and B listers in case of a lot of ‘no’ RSVPs.

2. Figure out how much you can afford to give these people in terms of food and alcohol. In my opinion, planning your budget before your guest list is all backwards because your wedding should be about your community of family and friends. If you want 300 people there and all you can afford is cocktails and apps, or a breakfast buffet, so be it!

3. Figure out how much you can spend on a venue. ONLY LOOK at venues that meet your price point and guest list size. No point in getting your heart set on a place that fits the wrong amount of people.

4. Get in touch with venues that fit your size/budget, and figure out what dates they have available. Then set your date accordingly. Don’t get your heart set on one date and your options will multiply. The venues in my city filled up fast, so we tried to “hold” dates at as many places as possible so we could look at a ton of different places without feeling pressure.

5. EVERYTHING else will fall in place when you know where you’re getting married. Seriously. You want your dress, decor and food to fit into the setting. Join pinterest and you will get a better idea of what looks good together.

Hope I’m helping 🙂



Post # 14
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
@cake and pie:  I agree!  pick the venue first.  and make sure that is the venue.  LOL

I am planning a Vow Renewal for our 20th anniversary.  First I wanted it at a fancy schmancy place, then I wanted it where we got married at originally, finally we decided on Vegas.  Now once we decided on that, everything is easier. 

It’s definitely not too early, time flies and it will be here before you know it!  Also if you don’t know what kind of dress you want, you can shop early for that, to get an idea. 

Keep coming here though, you will get TONS Of ideas;) 


Post # 15
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Congratulations on being engaged!  I second a lot of the other posters.  1. Get a grasp on your budget 2. look at venues 3. look at dresses.  I totally agree that the venue is the place to start for everything.  I was completely freaking out until our venue was done.  When we had the venue, I knew the date, I knew what the feel of our place was, I could decide how formal/casual my dress shoudl be, and it made picking colors and decorations much easier.  Also, depending on what kind of venue you choose, they may have a list of preferred vendors (which I have definitely used, and found to be really helpful), they may have their own decorative items that they can lend you, it may impact how many guests you can invite, they may also require you to use their caterer for example.  So that will alleviate a lot.  Also, for us, we had NO idea what we were doing, so we came up with an overall figure for our budget just out of nowhere, and once we started narrowing down our venues we decided to double our budget!  We had just been really unrealistic with what we had thought it would cost.  So we actually went backwards a little.  Also, I find theknot.com to be really helpful.  It give you a premade to-do list, which you can sort both by date and by category. So you can see what the suggested order and timeline for getting things done is, you can cross things off that don’t apply to you, and you can add more items as you think of them.  

Post # 16
861 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I felt exactly the same way when I first got engaged. Every time I would open a magazine or look at a checklist or whatever, I felt like the walls were closing in on me. I couldnt decide on a date or a venue or a budget or a feel or anything like that. Gradually, now that some time has passed, some of the stuff is coming together. But I dont think it`s unusal to feel overwhelmed!

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