(Closed) i'm being bullied by my passive aggressive mother in law.

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

The best thing you can do is pretend you don’t hear her comments and not notice her stings. This will diplete her power and eventually she will disintegrate into oblivion.

Post # 18
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

i think your husband needs to have a lil chit chat with his momma…..ive been with my Fiance for 6 years and we have two kids, he has 3 brothers and my Mother-In-Law has not been kind to one of them….they are hispanic and i am white,(i know thats something she hates)and i also ,like any proud AMERICAN woman am not afriad to practice my right to speak freely about how i feel,she would have prefered her son with some illegal mexican who can cook like her and clean all day and all that crapand believes in all their uneducated superstision and herbal remedies.sorry no martha stewart here,and her son still loves me.lol,but my advice for you is to not be afraid to speak up to her,u should have thrown that cuzzi at her,or placed it stratigicly on her coke.shes not going anywhere,and neither are you,shes got to know that you arent to be messed with,or bullied.and as far as how she treats yours son(ive expierienced that also with MIL)screw her, she gets to meet her grave not having had the blessingof being close with your little angel:) you dont ned such a negative immature person around him anyway

Post # 19
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

my mother in law used to talk crap about me in spanish right in front of me……little did she know,i took 3 years of spanish -_- they dont change, u have to buck back and be a bitch ,eventually she will make peace,(or shut the heck up)t keep peace so the family can gather,and well if she doesnt,at least you can feel better knowing you gave it right back to her:)

Post # 20
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

WHAT THE HELL? What is wrong with this lady? Psychotic beeotch! Please say something. I would never, ever accept this. Have him talk to her, if that doesn’t work you need to say something. 

Post # 21
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

MY Future Mother-In-Law can be a handful (especially early on, before she really came to terms with the fact that Fiance has to get married to somebody and I guess I’m not the worst) but she doesn’t dare be this rude, because when she has tried with his ex-girlfriends before, he has flipped out on her right back. Fiance is a straight shooter and bold as anything, even with mommy dearest.

So, I feel your pain, because I know that were it not for FI’s intercession in previous relationships and the beginning of ours, I would have a Future Mother-In-Law who would think of things like try to give me a “SLUT” coozie too.

So I guess that’s the missing factor I’m wondering about. It’s your husband’s mother. What is he doing about this? Can he really be in denial about her behavior? Are you the only person she’s ever remotely treated this way? Is he scared to tell her that she’s crossed the line?

If the answer is yes… your husband won’t work with you on this (and he really should be taking the lead), I would greatly reduce the times I met with my Mother-In-Law, if I was in your position. For example, I’d drop by the inlaws for a few hours, not a few days. I understand that you have to fly in to see her when you do, but I would taxi in from the airport, see her for a few hours and then sleep in a hotel or fly back out same day, husband and all, ideally. She’s not seeing her grandson again until she politely asks to. And if she tries to hand me a “SLUT” coozie, I would icily reply “No, thank you,” and refuse to take it, while calmly staring her down and creating an intentional awkward pause.

Also, I would show my husband the “SLUT” coozie. Wakey-wakey big boy! Nobody’s mama is perfect and his sounds far from it. Time for him to come to terms with that.

Post # 22
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh, and if your husband wants to follow my FI’s playbook, loud, consistent, and brutally honest was his approach. He loves her…a lot… and they’re still very close. But he can be firm when he needs to be.

Post # 23
Member
1345 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

You should of told he that there is no need for her to let you borrow her brand new coozie, any spare ones would be fine, but thanks, that was so thoughtful *big smile* lol.

Cut her out of your life (and your sons) until she learns to respect you. With a woman like that though, I think I personally would be very amused around her haha! I’d sit around thinking of innocent ways to insult her, just to give her a taste of her own medicine :p I actually know someone very passive aggressive and immature, the ONLY reason I enjoy her society at all is because I find it entertaining listening to the new lies she invents and the way she tries to twist things around!

Just remember that nobody has the right to bully you, Mother-In-Law or not. You do not have to put up with her and your husband should instantly correct any behaviour like that. As for her punching you, I would have turned around and slapped her hard on the back and said ‘it sure was MIL!’ She does not get to treat you like crap without any consequences. Good luck OP.

Post # 24
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

I think your husband needs to be more involved here…and you need to limit your exposure since this has been going on for so long.

Post # 25
Member
2921 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@persianprincess:  I think you and your Darling Husband should have a serious talk about this, and I think you’d be justified just not seeing them anymore. It doesn’t sound like they want to see you. You DEFINITELY should NOT be staying at their house. If they don’t want to have a relationship with their grandchild, and your Darling Husband isn’t comfortable with them, and if Mother-In-Law is horrifically rude to you, WHY should you be going to the effort of visiting them? Just don’t. If Darling Husband wants to see them, he can do that on his own. Don’t even consider seeing them unless they ASK VERY nicely — then think about what your conditions would be, and only say yes if they’ll meet them.

Post # 25
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

WOW. Just WOW. I probably would have turned around and gone home when she handed me the coozie. You are a saint for putting up with that. But really, that is not ok. She is a bully and you don’t have to put up with it! It is 2014. I wouldn’t bat an eye if a friend got pregnant and was in a commited relationship. You seriously shouldn’t have to deal with that kind of harrassment!

Post # 26
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

OH. I just saw that this is a 2 year old post….oops! Hope it is going well and she has backed off a bit! 😉

Post # 27
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: February 2010

persianprincess:  I am so dealing with the same kind of passive agressive prick Mother-In-Law. THis is what i had to say to her on thanksgiving day : )

 

Have yourself a nice thanksgiving much love, Thank you  for reassigning all actual acts you strive to do so hard towards back to me all the while discounting any toxic acts you committed to me “Cluelessly” To point “You Cant Figure it out : )

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