Post # 1
So my bridal shower is this Sunday, and so far there are 5, maybe 6 people coming. That’s including me and the Maid/Matron of Honor who is organizing it. I didn’t have that big of an invitation list and there were a few from out of town, but I was hoping/expecting more people. Some people I thought for sure would come I’m not sure have responded. I gave my Maid/Matron of Honor phone numbers to call, but I don’t know if she did. And I’m NOT calling people about coming to my own bridal shower – I just can’t do it.
I’m just bummed right now, since there are so few, and I see so many posts around here with girls that have multiple bridal showers and have 20 people show up at each one. It just makes me feel that nobody cares. I have one friend who is due in mid-October and she probably gave me the excuse that the baby is due soon and she doesn’t know how she’ll feel (she gave that one to me for my Pampered Chef party the week after next). For pete’s sake! This is the girl that for her first kid she worked up until Friday and the baby was born the next day! And I have no sympathy, because I have another friend due next Tuesday (2 days after my shower) and she said she’ll be there unless the baby comes a couple days early.
Sorry for the vent, I’m just bummed and needed and ear (or sets of eyes). FI is out of town, but I feel like I’m whining to him a lot lately, since I’ve been really stressed out at work, and it’s spilling into home life.
Post # 3
vent away but dont be too harsh against your pregnant friend – all pregnancies are different
but yeah, i can understand you feeling bummed about the numbers for your shower – but have a good time anyway… sending hugs
Post # 4
Seconding eloping on this. All pregnancies are different. I have heard from so many friends that they were much more exhausted during their second pregnancies than their first because they were so busy chasing after #1.
As to the numbers – really, it’s about quality, not quantity. I’d rather spend time with my closest girlfriends rather a bunch of more distant friends.
Post # 5
Thanks for the reminder. I’m not trying to be harsh against my friend, but it’s frustrating, especially I didn’t know she was pregnant until a few months ago – she didn’t even bother calling to tell me, and I rarely see her because she dropped out of work to work at home and be a stay at home mom. But, I haven’t been pregnant, so I don’t know.
Post # 6
my pregnant friends have told me that its 1 month too long, especially if its hot.
if it means anything – i dont think i even have 5 girlfriends if i was to have a shower so youre doing better than i could 🙂
Post # 7
I’m sorry 🙁 That really sucks. Everyone is different though. I doubt I’ll have a shower and if I do I probably won’t have many come. I don’t have a whole lot of female cousins close, and I only have a few close girlfriends (none of which live in the same town as each other!). Don’t feel badly.
Post # 8
I only had 7 at my friend shower. Ok, 9 if you include my MOM and my Mother-In-Law, ha. I still had a blast and I’m sure you will too. =]. Plus you can catch up with everyone better!!!! Instead of super chatty, “lost in the shadows”. I had a shower that my Mother-In-Law threw me of 24 women (her family) and nobody really talked to me. I just kinda hung out in the corner all day feeling uncomfortable and then some woman kept talking about how sad it was my brother had died, so i ended up bawling in the corner with no way to escape!!!
More does NOT equal better. Just have fun with the friends you do have who could make it. PS i’d understnad, but i’d totally be irked by “well i could work but i can’t come to your shower” b/c i don’t think being tired is ever much of an excuse for anything but that’s me….when i’m pregnant and fat and tired and bloaty i’m going to remember that my friends are still there for me. I read a really interesting article on this today btw…it was pretty enlightening and showed both sides of a friendship that had deteriorated due to one woman in her 30’s being single and the other having a family. Just sorta reminded me of some things to do and what not to do when my time comes.
Just have ufn this weekend!!!
Post # 9
Ejs4y8- I’d love to see the article if you have a link. I feel like a lot of my friendships have been in transition since my divorce. A lot of my then married (now with kids) didn’t know how to relate to me. My other circle of close friends are single and actively looking to meet someone — I’m the only one of that group in a serious relationship. It does require some work to keep friendships strong and connected when your life circumstances change.
Post # 10
If it makes you feel any better, I am not having or expecting to have a bridal shower because I don’t have any local friends or family and my Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man live far far away (that’s why I dont expect them to go through the trouble of throwing me one.)
If I were to have one, though, I’d prefer an intimate one over one that has too many people. I preferred that as a guest, too. I’d be perfectly happy with 5 or 6 close friends to be at the bridal shower. Like pp said, More doesn’t mean better.
Just enjoy it and have fun! Don’t let the number of people coming bum you out. Totally not worth it.
Post # 11
Aw hun, I’m sorry. I totally feel you. My shower is tomorrow and only two of my friends are going, the rest is all family, and while I’m excited and happy that they will be there, I am really hurt that almost none of my friends are going. I actually sort of cried (well not sort of, I did) because it really hurt my feelings. So I’m totally with you….it’s understandable that they can’t come, but it still hurts, especially if you would go out of your way for those friends, but they aren’t doing it for you.
Post # 12
Thanks for the support everyone. I’m looking forward to spending time with those friends that are coming, and I got a new dress for the occasion… I don’t wear dresses much, and I got I think FOUR dresses this summer (FI encouraged me to get them and suggests that when I go out with friends I should go ahead and dress up, since I really can’t dress up at work). So I definitely need reasons to wear them, and I’ll be able to take some on my honeymoon with me too 🙂
ejs4y8 – I’d love to see the article too. It seems true with some friends, but it’s more the kids vs. no kids. However, I have a group where I worked with some, and some have kids and some dont, and we all just get together and have a good time.
Post # 13
I had a similar situation with my bridal shower. I was so nervous because the few people who did attend were from all different groups of people I know. I was afraid it was going to be awkward or just be kind of a sad shower. I essentially was dreading going to my own bridal shower.
But, I had a really good time. In the end I was really glad it was as small as it was, because it was much more intimate and now the group of 8 people that were there really know each other.
It really sucks that more people can’t attend. But those handful that are must really think highly of you.
Good luck with the new dress and the shower! I hope it is really fun for you.
Post # 14
My shower was thrown out of state by my mom’s friends and only her friends showed up, and I had the best time! my friends didn’t come (would have had to get on a plane!) but I know they love me and to them a shower isn’t a big deal. Not everyone has big showers, we just don’t post about them 🙂 try not to read too much into it, it will only get you down.
Post # 15
I hope you had a great time at your shower today! Share pictures?
Post # 16
SF Carrie, I get what you’re saying. We are in a different life sitc than the rest of our other friends.
And I am so sorry the shower isn’t working out how you wish it would. Hugs hugs hugs! How about having all your bm’s in another city? That’s my dilemma. All 3 of them are all across the country so there’s no shower for me.
Work will throw one though.
But it is a bummer.
And fwiw, my last month of pregnancy I was placed on bedrest and yes, in the summertime. She might be feeling really bad right now or on some doctor order. I just didn’t broadcast that to everybody when it happened to me.