Post # 1
Quick background, Im in mexico with my husbad. my spanish is less than fluent but im working on it (classes etc) and im teaching english from monday
so my inlaws are pursuing a political career. Father-In-Law is mayor of DH’s hometown (4 hours from us) but his term is finishing this year (you can only do one four year term at a time) He wants to go to the next level. My Mother-In-Law wants to become mayor as his replacement as she is very well known for helping people, and the opposing party person is not a very nice person apparently and would be bad for the town. so she wants to campaign
So about 6 weeks ago my husband told me that he would have to spend every weekend there till maybe june-july or so. which given he works a lot and im starting work seemed like a lot since midweek he just wants to veg and watch tv in silence
but these weekends have been turning into 4-5 day trips the last few weeks. and im just…surplus to requirements basically. i cant go with him for the long trips as i have spanish classes and other commitments here (and from monday ill be working). and i have the option of going with him when its just a weekend, but theyll be gone from 7am-midnight basically. and i cant contribute to the political campaign planning. so i have the option of being alone in my house, or in my inlaws house where i feel like a guest still. so generally i stay at home since my inlaws don’t have internet or any good TV
i don’t want to be whiney (is that a word) but i feel like we’re not spending any real time together. and we only got married in march! and i get family is important and he should help them…but still
eugh i dont know im just venting i guess. i can’t say “stop helping your parents” and i dont want to. but i need a bit of quality time too!! ive tried to talk to him and he said he’s sorry for agreeing to do it without talking to me but its partly because its family and partly because he has a contract with local govt. there that he would lose if the opposing party got it (they wouldnt work with someone connected to ex-govt)
do i try to just make things more special midweek? quit whining and try to support him more?
Post # 3
Ok, I’ve been a volunteer for decades.
Not clear on WHY you cannot go with him if the timing is right…
Lol, I don’t buy the bit you’d have “nothing” to do.
Political Campaigns (no matter the level) ALWAYS have lots that needs to be done. And an extra set of hands at the Campaign Office would be helpful…
Even if it means just making Coffee, coalating papers, etc.
PLUS it would give you the opportunity to see your Hubby (well more than you do now), Work on your Spanish, and show that you support the Inlaws & Family.
That is what I’d be doing…
Hope this helps,
Post # 4
@This Time Round: at the moment, its the pre-campaign stage (it starts in july so right now so they are currently in the office all the time and its simply talking… forming strategies, getting experts to give them talks, “how to win campaigns” “how to talk about politics to the people”. i went once and i was lost, and i couldnt leave as they were obviously busy haha. I can do the next stage – handing out flyers etc
i didn’t go last week as my boss told me i was starting work. apparently some problem with the electrics meant it wasnt possible. so i’ve been in the house a week alone because i thought id be working!
but you’re right, i need to try to be supportive in anyway i can. Tomorrow is mother’s day in US right?! in mexico you send messages to all mothers (not just your own) so i need to send a message to my Mother-In-Law if its the right day. English mothers day is in march!
Post # 5
TO @newname_99: Sounds, like a plan.
YES, in the UK… Mothering Sunday is in March.
In the USA & Canada Mothers Day is tomorrow, 2nd Sunday in May.
From what I’ve read by GOOGLING – Mothers Day in Mexico – it is ALWAYS on May 10th (no matter what day of the week) there.
Other than that the tradition looks a lot like the rest of NA… and YES here altho Moms are primary (certainly where I am in Canada)… in recent years it has become more of a wide-spread event where MILs are also honoured (or anyone who is a Mom really)
Hope this helps,
Post # 6
I think you need to draw a line in the sand. Say to him that you are newlyweds, and you want to spend some quality time with him. Maybe he can go help every second weekend? Make it clear that you have no issue with him spending time with his family, but you are his family too and you also need him.
Post # 7
@This Time Round: you’re right i should have googled it, thankyou for letting me know! =)
having thought about it, I realised my problem is not where my husband is or what he’s doing per se. Its his hatred for technology and complete lack of communication if he’s not here that bothers me. So what I need to do is ask for more texts or emails if he has time(since he hates speaking via phone) so i won’t feel quite so disconnected. And i need to ignore hormonally charged “woe is me” moments =)
Post # 8
@newname_99: I feel you! MY SO helps his parent a lot… and then does not have time to see me. uhhhg