I'm dating a (former) stringer… sometimes I wonder if I should worry

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 48
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

because he just spent over 10k on something else for me,”  literally sounds like the definition of a “gift”…

If a thread full of people came to the exact same conclusion, the error was clearly in your wording, not in our “assuming” …any logical person would think it was a gift. 

 I guess a better way to word whatever this magical mystical mythical $10,000 thing was for you and your child would be to say “he just spent $10,000 on something to help me and my child relocate safely blah blah blah, whatever.”

Post # 49
Member
10569 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

2cents :  

. . . he just spent $10k on something else for me . . .

Interpreting that to mean he gifted you with something that cost $10K is not exactly far fetched.

Initially, he spent $10K for something for you. Now, the story is that he, you, or some combination thereof spent the money on something for your child. A high end pony, perhaps?

Then in your last post, you assure us that you only think negative thoughts when you’re hormonal.

So, it sounds like all is well in paradise.

Post # 50
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

Is it a high-end pony, op? If so, can I be your child? 

I dated a what you call stringer. I call people like that serial monogamist. But anyway, I was also different and special and he never felt like that before. I became pregnant and it became too hard for him. He is dating someone else and lets me know he has no intentions of marrying her. 

I really do hope it works out for you, but don’t be surprised if it doesn’t. 

Post # 51
Member
9728 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

ksks9876 :  You don’t want one! Had one when I was a kid, it bit my mom on the ass and then went to live on a farm.

(My Dad swears that it really went to live on a farm and that wasn’t a cover story for something terrible)

Post # 52
Member
943 posts
Busy bee

slomotion :  We had ponies growing up. My mom has one now. She bought it at a sale to save him from being killed. His name is Rambo and he was so small he fit in the back seat of the car. He has little man syndrome. He chases after the full grown horses like he is one of them. 

Post # 54
Member
10569 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

slomotion :  

Yes, I know for a fact that your pony is happily frolicking on the same farm on which you will find my puppy and several baby Easter ducklings.  

Post # 55
Member
3907 posts
Honey bee

FWIW, I think you’re getting a lot of unfair blowback here where everyone is so taken with their own wit. Sounds more like making fun of someone to me.

OP, I hope your guy pops the question soon and doesn’t delay for an unreasonable amount of time.

Post # 56
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

2cents :  I don’t think you can call him a “former stringer” until you’re engaged… cos as of right now who knows..? 

Post # 57
Member
2749 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

2cents :  he’s obviously *still* a “stringer” or you would be planning a wedding right now… instead here you are just his live-in “friend”..

I would  be thinking twice before subjecting a child to life changes for someone who has not made *any* commitment to you…

Post # 58
Member
1503 posts
Bumble bee

You both are in your 30s. You have a kid. He’s been married before. I’m still not sure what you are bragging about bc your story sounds pretty average. Why don’t you just have an adult conversation with him and discuss a timeline?

If he point blank told his previous gfs marriage was off the table from day one, how is that stringing someone along? It’s quite the opposite. A man who strings a woman along does it by hinting and promising a ring and marriage but never actually throws down the money to commit.

I’d understand if you came here and said something about sticking around with this guy despite his past of (allegedly) stringing women along bc he helps you financially with your child and that given your past you’re open to this set up. But, you’d rather daydream about maybe possibly one day getting married to him based on random comments his family tells you about his PDA habits and blaming it all on hormones once a month. Sure, sounds like a plan. 

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