(Closed) I'm deaf and marrying a hearing man and looking from advice from hearing people

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
37 posts
  • Wedding: March 2018


I have severe hearing loss and I have worn hearing aids my whole life. 5 years ago I was approved for the clinical trial for the Esteem Implant (it’s a hearing aid implant). Even though I have had hearing aids since I was two it was very overwhelming at first when I got it. I never realized all the things that hearing people hear. Because of the sensory overload I kind of isolated myself for a couple months while my brain adjusted and got used to the new sounds. 

I know of a lot of people who have gotten cochlear implants and they have had great success with them! I just want you and your families to be prepared for the transitional time because it can be a very difficult time- it definitely was for me. I ended up getting a therapist and that was very helpful to have and she was able to help me communicate to my family how I was feeling and give me better strategies for when I was feeling isolated. 

I have been playing poker for a few years and it’s a great game for HOH people! It’s very organized and we use our strengths by observing body language. I’ve actually met a lot of hearing and HOH people playing poker games- maybe you can learn and start a family game? 

I wouldnt worry so much about if your future in laws feel awkward. It’s clear their son loves you and so they are going to love you too. You are taking a huge step going into the hearing world and I am sure they understand and see that as an action for them and your life with them. 

Post # 33
829 posts
Busy bee

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abbyev :  omg congrats bee! I hope you feel comfortable with sound from the get go. And have a blast at the concert 😊

Post # 34
1482 posts
Bumble bee

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abbyev :  congrats! Let us know how it goes. This must be so exciting for you.

Post # 35
1596 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

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abbyev :  OMG this is exciting! Please check in and let us know!

Post # 37
3666 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

You are very brave!! I think trying a concert would be a fun thing. We have good friends of the family that are a mixed hearing and deaf couple. I know they had some struggles when they first got together. He learned ASL and she learned to talk and read lips. They both took classes for several years. It sounds like your fiancé can already talk with you, which is great. 

I always loved talking to her. I learned some ASL from her. She got better over time with talking and reading lips. I got a little better at using ASL. We would supplement with scribbling notes to each other when necessary. 

I got to meet a lot of her HOH friends at their wedding. It is a different culture, but it was all very fascinating to me. I think that the comparison to marrying in a family that speaks another language is a good one.

Your anxiety is understandable, but it will get easier over time. Congrats on your surgery and on your upcoming wedding! 

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