(Closed) I’m disappointed nobody is coming to visit (Just a vent)

posted 7 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I understand your disappointment. Most of DH’s friends live over on Vancouver Island where he went to high school, about three hours away from us by ferry and bus. Darling Husband and I used to go visit his parents on the island a lot and we would see his friends then, but they pretty much never came here.

Now Darling Husband and I don’t have the same days off anymore, and we used up all our vacation days on our honeymoon, so we rarely get the chance to get over to the island. His friends keep posting on his Facebook, “Hey man, we never get to see you! Come visit!” He replies, “How about you come visit me for once?” Cue dead silence.

Now one of them has moved here for school and is getting a taste of her own medicine. Everyone over there complains that they never see her, but they don’t want to be the ones to get off their butts and come here. We have mini vent sessions about it every so often, lol.

It sucks, but what can you do? We can’t dictate how other people spend their time or their money, so after a while you just learn to not expect anything, and take it as a nice surprise if they do manage to make a trip your way.

 

Post # 4
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

We moved 15 MINS from where we used to live, and hardly anyone wants to come here. Seriously people???? I have just learned that people in general are lazy, and don’t really want to go out of their way, but expect it of other people.

Your BIL and SIL sound like real peaches :/

Post # 6
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@mandb122: I totally get it. Its not cool that they act this way, they need priorities

Post # 7
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It sounds like these people don’t really have their spending priorities in order, but in general I think “not visiting” is a pretty widespread problem.  We live 3000 miles away from friends and family and I’ve found that most people just can’t get around to planning trips to visit people.  I can understand that.  While we go back to NY to visit family, that + weddings (ours and other people’s) consumes all of our vacation time and it’s really hard to get a chance to either take vacations for fun OR visit friends and family who live outside of NY.

I’ve found in general, that most people will only travel to visit if there’s a really big event to go to.  There’s a few people who are business travelers, but really only a small percentage of our friends plan trips around visiting people.  Those are the few and treasured “champion visitors.”  Some people have that quality but most do not.  It’s hard to blame people for wanting a little more free time and spending money in their daily lives, or to want to travel to more adventurous or relaxing places than just where their friends live.  (eating out vs. health insurance for their baby is another story…but I think it’ll only make you and everyone else miserable to spend your time critiquing their spending priorities)

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