(Closed) "I'm down!" – aggrivating RSVP responses

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
2109 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I feel you on the frustrating RSVPs!! let me try and remember all our weird ones…

– My batty grandmother (whom I didn’t want to invite) sent hers back checked yes but didn’t write HER name on the line, oh no. She wrote the name of every relative on her side of the family who had died, along with every animal of hers that had died, then finished up the list with my current (very much alive) dog’s name written boldly in all caps. I made my mom verify if she was actually coming or not. 

– We got three RSVP cards back with the peoples’ names written out but no yes or no if they were coming. 

– Probably 4 of DH’s friends thought “We have reserved 1 seat in your honor” meant a plus one and tried to add random people to their cards. 

– We had another one of DH’s friends get confused and for some reason he put his RSVP in his card he gave to us at the wedding? Okay…

and just a funny story to finish them off…

– we were hanging out at DH’s house (which is directly across the street from my house, that’s how we met!) with one of his roommates drinking when we jokingly scolded him for being way past our response date with no card sent back. He was quite intoxicated, and all of the sudden got up and ran back to his room. He came back response card in hand, shirtless, and ran past us out the front door. Fiance at the time and I got to stand there and giggle as we watched him stumble/sprint across the street, drunk as can be, and place his card in my mailbox with a flourish and a bow! It was our favorite way to receive a response!

Post # 3
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Our Church

I had a few. Only like 5 out of 50 rsvpd…

One was my husbands boss. We only invited her and her husband. She wrote on the card- me, husband, and daughter!

It’s been like 7 months and it still irritates me when i htink about it. Only bc i dont like her lol

Post # 4
227 posts
Helper bee

That happened to us too! Really though, the worst is when it’s people who have gotten married pretty recently because they should know how irritating it is trying to get an RSVP back!

Post # 5
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Why are RSVPs so difficult for people!!?? 

Our deadline is tomorrow and we still have 126 people who haven’t responded. That is just insane!! You are all adults.

My worst thing so far is we have gotted 4 rsvp’s back who check yes for attending and write the number attending.. but no name on the line!!??? Come on people.. 

I guess I am somewhat lucky to not have any additional people or children added.. yet.. LOL 

We are already stressed enough why can’t people just do what they are supposed to

Post # 6
589 posts
Busy bee

Did you send one card to her mother for both of them or separate? It sounds like she hadn’t seen the card. Honestly, it’s not a big deal someone said “I’m down.” If you need clarification about her mom you should call the mom. Its casual, but she said yes so I don’t see the problem? Just respond with a 

“Thank you for your response. We will mark your rsvp as a yes and give your mom a call. Just to check, did you receive the invitation we sent to xyz address? We just want to make sure you have the information available on where to go and starting times”

Post # 8
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

DH’s trainwreck cousin never RSVP’d. It got down to 2 weeks before the wedding and Darling Husband had already called him like 5 times and every time it was an uncertain answer. He was just waiting it out until his dad offered to pay for his flight, I think. So we FINALLY got a verbal yes, then 2 days before the wedding, his dad (FI’s uncle) e-mails Future Mother-In-Law to “let us know” that he’s going to be bringing his Girlfriend, who we had never met and wasn’t invited.  “Wasn’t sure about the arrangements for dinner, hope it’s ok”, he says. Future Mother-In-Law actually included a note when she forwarded me the e-mail saying she would have said no if it was her! But whatever, it was a buffet so I talked to the caterer and e-mailed the uncle back saying, “Hi, we actually didn’t know he was coming since he didn’t RSVP, but we’ve made arrangements so that’s fine. Looking forward to seeing you!” He sent back a half-hearted apology. On the day, I just asked the caterers to set an extra place at the end of his table and didn’t add her name to the seating chart. I wasn’t making any extra effort if he couldn’t even be bothered to respond! It’s not like he’s a teenager either. He’s my age. 

Post # 9
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

Ahh you guys are freaking me out.  I hope and pray that my and my FI’s friends can figure it out.  It helps that we’re giving everyone a plus one and all kids are allowed, so we don’t expect and rules “broken” since there aren’t many.   That said, after having been on the bee for long enough it seems absolutely everyone gets at least one screwed up RSVP.

Post # 10
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

We stamped our responses and numbered them in case people forgot their names, but we need not have bothered because of the maybe 60% who actually responded on time, several managed to not tell us if they want to use the shuttles we’re providing. 

I feel really bad because we whined about having to invite a family member we’ve never met, who ended up sending a very generous gift and responding on time, even though we forgot to stamp his rsvp because we added him after invitations went out. 😳

oh and two of our wedding party did not rsvp! Obviously we know they are coming but geez how hard is it to put a postcard in the mail!!!!

Post # 11
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

A week before our wedding we had someone ask if it was too late to bring a date…. They weren’t given a plus 1.

Post # 13
600 posts
Busy bee

SoonAsYouCan:  Ahhh I wanted to scream when I had to track down people. “Oh you mean you wanted that?”

Well, I included a stamped and addressed envelope, and it’d be kind of nice to know if you’re coming and what you want for dinner since this is asked for ON THE CARD!!” Apparently I was supposed to read minds haha

Post # 14
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

LittleDove:  Finish with a funny story?! The grandmother one was hilarious. What was her motive for listing al your dead relatives and pets????

Post # 15
1553 posts
Bumble bee

So, you have a problem with someone saying “I’m down,” but you’re ok with saying something like “totes forgot.” I’ll never understand that language. Like “totes adorbs.” It’s nauseating.

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