Post # 1
I mentioned in an earlier post that my Fiance will be leaving to the states for 2 weeks.
As we get closer, I am starting to feel more and more upset. I really hate to say this because I feel so stupid.
The other day I mentioned that I was going to miss him, he said that I shouldn’t be so dependent on him to be happy. That made me feel even more sad!
I guess I just feel like I would never want to be away from him for 2 weeks unless it had to do with work or something important. I understand the other couples vacation seperate or go out seperate, but we have just never done that.
Not only will he be away for that long, he will also miss father’s day.
He says he doesn’t want to go, but I can tell that he does. If he didn’t he would have made sure that the boys planned something a little closer to home.
Do I have a right to feel upset or am I being unreasonable?
I tell him that I am happy that he will get a fun trip because I don’t want him to say he is not going just to please me.
Post # 3
I think it’s normal to miss you signficant other when they are away. Just because you miss him, doesn’t mean that all of your happiness depends on him, as he accuses.
Take the time to do things for yourself while he is away. Enjoy the time, he will be back soon enough 🙂
Post # 4
Is this for his bachelor party? or for work?
I feel the same way as you though, I dont like traveling without my honey. Half the fun of traveling is experiencing something new and fun with the one you love. We aren’t the type to really travel without eachother except on emergency instances. (A couple of funerals)
But to answer your question, I dont think you are being unreasonable. 2 weeks is a long time to be away from someone you care about a lot.
Post # 5
i would say you can feel upset if you want, but you shouldn’t be a downer… he’s going on a trip already, he doesn’t need a guilt trip on top of that. just to put it in perspective for you, i would be over the moon if i could even see my FH for 2 weeks in a row, since we’re long distance and only get like 2 days at a time once every 1 or 2 months! 2 weeks apart really is nothing… why don’t you make some fun game plan for those 2 weeks?
Post # 6
yeah is this his bach party thing? because 2 weeks is kinda long for a road trip… cant they just do a weekend or something more reasonable?
Post # 7
We go on vacations separately on occasion, usually no more than a week but we still tell each other we miss each other. Sometime Fiance tells me he misses me when he’s at work for 10 hours (but I think that’s partly because he doesn’t like work). I would be upset if someone made me feel bad for saying I missed them too.
I know it sucks but try to find some things you enjoy doing by yourself while he’s gone! The last time Fiance went on vacation I watched a lot of trashy reality TV he can’t stand, cheesy Christmas movies and had girls over for a wine night.
Post # 8
You have every right to *be* upset – feelings are feelings! I don’t think you have the right to lay a guilt trip on him or make him feel bad about it, though.
Post # 9
@ktisthatbees: Thank you
@HoneyBear: Ya it’s a bachelor party/trip
@elliestan: Ya, since he said that, I haven’t said anything negative about him leaving. I have made it seem like the most awesome thing on earth because I want him to have fun.
@bells: This is exactly how I feel! I mean 2 weeks seems like so much to me to just go and have fun. But obviously I won’t be saying that to him.
Post # 10
I guess it just makes me sad because I feel stupid because I would never want to be away from him for that long, but he does.
And I know that if it were me going for 2 weeks with the girls, he would be super sad!
Post # 11
You can feel upset. Thats how you feel, and nothing will change that. I dont think unreasonable, your not telling him he cant go.. Its natural to miss your SO when they are away. I think his response was not meant how it came out… He will miss you too, but they just doont express things like we do. Keep yourself busy when he is gone and do something for you!!!
Post # 12
We’ve taken several trips without one another over the years. When I go to visit my family (in florida, ohio, and hawaii) he hasn’t always been able to come. But usually when we are away from one another, it always seems to bring us closer because my Fiance realizes how much he misses me and vice versa. It is almost like the heart grows fonder when we are away from each other. So it could be a good thing even though you are dreading it! I know it is hard but hopefully you can look at the positive side of things…that is usually what I do when I know I am going to be away from my Fiance. I agree with the other PPs though, 2 weeks is a LONG bachelor party. I’m not sure my Fiance would even be able to do that with work vacation time since we’re taking 3 weeks off for our wedding/honeymoon.
Post # 13
Totally normal to miss your SO when they are away.
Totally healthy to spend 2 weeks on vacation apart and revel in every second of it!
I think having separate experiences/interests to bring to the table is one thing that keeps relationships fresh and exciting. I love having “me” time when my husband is away, and I love the rush of having him come home! It’s all good to me :-).
Post # 14
I will make sure to not say anything to make him feel guilty.
I guess I am just going to have to find some things to entertain myself. Maybe I will hit up a water park or something lol
Post # 15
I believe you have every right to be upset/bummed. J has had the same reaction when we were in a LDR and I constantly told him that I missed him. He made me feel even more stupid and upset. They’re just wired differently so even though they miss us, they’re occupied in some way or another. I hope for a fast two weeks. We’re here for you! -hugs-
Post # 16
@crayfish: Well said!
@tranquility:I believe everything the both of you are feeling is completely normal. If I were in your shoes I would be feeling sad and would be a little bummed that he was leaving, and if I were in his shoes I would really miss you, but also be pretty excited about a trip with friends.
Definitely take this time to do things you want to do, and don’t hold back! This two weeks will fly by. And if you ever need some company you can always come to the bee!