(Closed) I'm engaged! Having to keep it a secret… when to tell?

posted 4 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I would wait until the honeymoon phase passes. Which is 1-2 years.

I married a guy after knowing him less than 6 months and it was a disaster.

We were married a total of 27 days.

You just can’t know someone well enough if you haven’t been together that long.

I didn’t think it would be a big deal if we broke up, but I didn’t even think of the cost of a lawyer (not cheap) and how my future Fiance is bummed that it’s not my first wedding.

at the very least, do premarital counselling with a relationship therapist.

i should also add that it played out on social media and was terribly embarrassing. 

Post # 3
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t think it’ll make a difference if you tell everyone now, in two weeks, or two months. Just tell them when you see them next. 

Post # 4
115 posts
Blushing bee

BeePeaSH:  Fiance and I were engaged after 5 months, hopeless romantic here. Lol despite what negative comments some people will make, I feel like sometimes you just know when things are right. Doesn’t matter if you’ve been together 10 years or 2 months. Congrats on your engagment! πŸ™‚ when do you plan on getting married? I think that would help determine when you should tell family. Will your family be understanding and supportive? If so, tell them now! I told my family as soon as it happened and they were ecstatic! πŸ™‚ You’re obviously both intelligent and responsible adults so you know what commitment you’re making, I’d say just go ahead and tell them πŸ™‚

Post # 7
3244 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Okcupid was where I met my Darling Husband. Congrats lady!! We were engaged after two months and married after ten months. We faced a small backlash but not from immediate family. Basically we got lots of support and we are so crazy happy. Even after the honeymoon phase. Which honestly, we didn’t even have. Felt like we knew each other completely after such a short time. It was instant comfort. I hope yours is the same!!

Post # 9
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

BeePeaSH:  I would share the news. By keeping it a secret it almost like you acknowledge that it is not acceptable. I mean why else keep it a secret? Just do yourself a favor and don’t set a date for wedding untill you are together for about a year. Congratulations! Lots of waiting Bees will be jealous of that post haha

Post # 11
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I know many people who were engaged in under 6 months of knowing their SO. I Didn’t judge them for it or think they were irresponsible. 

is there a family event that is in a few months that you guys could announce then? Maybe a 4th of July BBQ?  If you’re planning a year long engagement, I think it’s best to tell them sooner so they know of the longer engagement, rather than waiting until the wedding is a few months away. Just a thought πŸ™‚ 

Post # 12
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - State Park

I can’t remember how long we were together before he proposed, but it was pretty close to 2 months. We have just now hit our one year anniversary and are finally starting to plan the wedding. His family was super supportive from day one which has been a huge support.


Post # 14
510 posts
Busy bee

If it’s something you can’t tell your closest friends and family, perhaps it’s something you know you shouldn’t be doing.

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