(Closed) I’m engaged..but bummed about the proposal :/

posted 10 years ago in Rings
Post # 46
Member
1467 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Your guy sounds like my guy. Yes, the proposal may have been a let down… .BUT…. think of ALL the amazing things this romantic guy will plan for you the rest of his life! πŸ˜€ Marrying a guy like that is something to celebrate about. Yes, it can be dissapointing that you weren’t surprised (neither was I) or that it isn’t much of a story…. but try to focus on the story of YOU together and all the wonderful surprises you will have with this man the rest of your life. Hope this helps!

Post # 47
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

You’re not being a b*tch or snobby. These are your feelings — to say otherwise is invalidating and insensitive.

I honestly think that as women we picture this huge over-the-top proposal and then we see them on TV, in magazines, etc and think “I cannot wait until my insanely romantic moment!” Truth is, that doesn’t always happen, in fact that is the exception to the rule. What does happen is a genuine moment when our guy gets the courage, feels comfortable, and wants to ask you so badly that he either asks you as soon as he feels ready. How sweet is that!

Just remember, amazing off-the-wall proposal or not, he loves you. You love him. Now start planning that weddin’, girl! πŸ™‚

 

Post # 48
Member
2166 posts
Buzzing bee

@Miss OBG: <— +1.  Well said πŸ™‚

 

You sound spoilled since you say he is super romantic all the time.

Savor the fact that he loves you so much he didn’t use the failure of the helicopter plans to put it off anymore. 

 

 

Post # 49
Member
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

go to the “waiting” forum and see how many girls would kill to be in your shoes right now.

my Fiance proposed to me on our couch. we had literally just gotten home from a road trip and I hadn’t even taken my shoes off yet. he did it this way because he was: 1) too excited to wait and 2) felt it should happen in a private place. I love my proposal and wouldn’t have it any other way.

Post # 50
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I kind of see where you are comming from, but I think your proposal is more romantic than many others I have heard. Atleast you weren’t at home in your jammies watching reality tv.

Post # 51
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Congrats on your engagement!  I would just remember that it was cute that he tried many things.  I would laugh if he tried so many things, yet they failed.  Then again, I am simple and think it is cute when guys try so hard to make things perfect and they end up not being so.  For mine, we went on a walk and he wanted to, but almost talked himself out of it.  He said it was the most nervewrecking thing he has done even though we talked about it.  Maybe he said what he said because he was relieved he was finally able to do it?  Either way, it is a good story!

Post # 52
Member
7321 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Well, I won’t go so far as to say you were being a bitch, but maybe a tad petty? Yeah, I’d say that.

You have a romantic man, who does romantic things, who took you to freakin Las Vegas (My husband and I have been to the beach together… once…), who TRIED to plan a romantic proposal and at the end of the day proposed on bended knee with sweet words because he, above it all, just wanted to propose to you.

I hope you realize that after the hooplah of the proposal and ring and wedding/honeymoon, marriage isn’t all grand gestures and unrealistic expectations being met. Perhaps you recognize that you are spoiled. And that maybe it’s time to come down to earth just a little, before you damage what sounds like a wonderful relationship with a man who treats you like a queen by being unappreciative.

Post # 53
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

aww well at least you were surprised!! 

Post # 54
Member
861 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

First off, congrats to you and your dearest! πŸ™‚

I like to say my fiance proposed to me ‘twice.’ One random night, he pulled me over the side of my neighborhood as he was driving me home. It was late, the stars were out and shining, and the moonlight was dripping on us. I thought he was upset about something because he was pretty quiet the whole way home. Then he looked at me and told me how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, how he was in the process of planning how to ask my family’s permission for my hand in marriage, and basically that he was going to propose. It was so out of the blue, but we always knew we were going to marry each other. I was SOOO excited I started to cry and I was already saying yes inside! I really thought for a moment he was going to whip out a ring…but…

He let me pick out my ring and wedding band and then he asked me to marry him under the orange trees near a beautiful, historic mansion two months later. I knew he was going to propose to me on my birthday (well, Grandma spilled the beans! Oh, well) but I didn’t care. We were already engaged from the start.

I hope that makes you feel better. Just remember that nothing is perfect, hardly anything ever goes our way, but that is what makes life so exciting and beautiful. I will admit, I felt embarassed at first because I didn’t have a “I-was-SO-surprised-when-he-proposed” moment except when he first told me in the car. To me, the first time he told me of his “plans with me” (exactly how he said it, lol!) I felt that that was the moment we were engaged..pre-engaged…but that was the moment I felt the surprise!

You proposal story is amazing. It’s raw, unstaged, and simply full of love. Just give it some time and you’ll look back and think how sweet and perfect it was that you didn’t expect it. My fiance is an uber romantic, too. He trembled and cried in front of me when he officially asked me to marry him on one knee crushed in the dirt…so not what I expected (he is always very, very confident and so sure of himself, ha) and it was PERFECT. I wouldn’t change a thing. Continue to be proud of your proposal story and give it some time to sink in. I felt the same way at first and had no idea why i felt that way to begin with. I love your story!!

Congratulations, again πŸ™‚

Best wishes, my friend.

P.S.

If I had to guess why he proposed the way he did, it would be that he just couldn’t wait because the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with was before him and he didn’t want to wait another moment. it seems that simple to me. Men tend to “tremble” in the presence of the woman they love (usually on one or both knees, lol), and sometimes it makes them do things unexpectedly…like proposing beside the bed! πŸ™‚ And in my case, in the car before he brought me back home one random night!

Post # 55
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@jardi85: I agree with what Pia said.

If it makes you feel any better, this is how my proposal went. He told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. We discussed it matter-of-factly several times. Then we were at the mall one day… and on a whim we stopped in Zales to have my necklace cleaned. We slowly made our way to ring display and he just told me to pick one out. So I did. That’s it. πŸ™‚

It wasn’t a grand gesture. No shooting fireworks or marquees. But I don’t care. I love him. He loves me. I got exactly the ring I wanted. We’re getting married next year. And I’m excited about spending the rest of my life with him. πŸ˜€

Post # 56
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: December 2011

well, let me just tell you this. haha… i went to CA to vist my uncle.. a week before I left I was like honey it’d be awesome if you proposed to me in the airport when i got back.. like ya know down there by the bagage claim… well, i wanted to be surprised… and low and behold he did it… exactly where i thought it’d be neat at… and i was not surprised… i knew it was coming when i saw him there… i had to fake my whole reaction..—i was more like in shock that we were actually engaged than, surpised and happy with where he did it.. and i hate that.. so much..

but its true. it doesn’t matter where it happened or how.. but i would have thought that he could have done somethin a little more romantic-er. haha.. 

he was the type that in High school he’d leave notes on my car and just do offff the wallll random things that were the sweetest things ever… and then doing the type of proposal i thought would be neat0–when really it wasn’t… i don’t know..

Post # 57
Member
836 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

This may sound harsh…  and it may be, but i don’t mean it the way it is going to come out…

Maybe he was going to do it on Fremont Street but YOUR feet started hurting because of your shoes and so you had to go back to the hotel.  Everything else fell through, and now this may have fallen through (in his eyes) so he was like “EF IT! I’m just gonna do it now already since EVERYTHING i’ve wanted to do has fallen through, including this…

Just a thought…

Ronney

 

 

Post # 58
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m sorry I’m a post stalker but I looked through your other posts. You already saw the ring! Before Las Vegas. So ALREADY it wasn’t a complete surprise. And the fact that he wanted you to inspect your ring for a flaw coupled with the fact that he took you to Las Vegas tells me he really cares about you, your feelings and what you think πŸ™‚ I say, give the man a big hug and kiss and have fun wedding planning!

Post # 59
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

OMG. I hope you can make it through this. My heartfelt prayers and condolences during this very difficult time. ~Be a survivor~~

Post # 60
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

It’s ok, not everyone’s proposal is how they imagine. But in the end, you’re still engaged. I got engaged after being forced to wake up from a nap, in my parent’s house. It was cute for us, and very personal… but not what I’d imagined. And if I had a choice, it would’ve been outside somewhere, and there would be hidden photographers everywhere. Baha! Yea, it is what it is πŸ™‚

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