I'm fed up with my future's wife overbearing mother

posted 1 month ago in Family
Post # 62
Member
1759 posts
Buzzing bee

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abdel :  Oooooooohhhhh no. 

Yeah my husband’s grandparents lead Pentecostal churches, and have had that same unhealthy relationship with their kids. Who still live with them as 50 year olds. And whose marriages have all failed. 

Good luck. 

Post # 63
Member
3952 posts
Honey bee

Yeah, don’t see a counselor in the clergy. Full stop.

Post # 64
Member
27 posts
Newbee

OP, I think maybe your concern is that a counselor will try to find some fault with you? But trust me, any counselor will vidate your concerns and it will be your fiancee on the defense. As another bee said, a third party voice of reason is exactly what you need here. Please be brave and find counseling. Even if you didn’t have a major concern, premarital counseling is very helpful. 

Also, I know the bees are being tough on you, but they are really concerned for you. You sound like a caring, considerate human who might be poorly matched with a selfish, thoughtless one? Or maybe not! Her response to counseling would tell you that.

 

Also, my future mother in law is a Pentecostal type who is homophobic and I think that would cause issues for holiday events as I have a sister who is lesbian and is in long term relationship with her partner. 

Does your fiance share her mother’s Pentecostal views? Is she not wanting your family around because she secretly disapproves of your sister? This really concerns me. A controlling Mother-In-Law is one thing. A homophobic one from a strict religion is terrifying. Don’t sacrifice your family relationship for mean people!

Post # 65
Member
12822 posts
Honey Beekeeper

It is not at all odd to invite a single parent to share holidays, or married parents for that matter. 

But that is beside the point. You have more than valid reason not to include her. She’ll just have to be alone for some holidays and get over it. Too bad. It’s her loss. 

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