- 7 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
I’ll start off by saying that I don’t have many friends and we’ve all been close and friends with each other since we started spending time together years ago. They range in age from 19-24. Over the last few years, there has been a baby boom within the immediate group (my high school friends), as in, out of the group of 5, only myself and one other girl don’t have kids or aren’t pregnant. For the most part, having kids didn’t really change our relationship. They were busier than usual, but I was in school full time, so I was busy too, but we still made time for each other. More recently, the baby boom has hit within my group of college friends. Again, to begin with, not so much change in the whole structure of our relationships.
But, now, most all of my high school friends are friends with my college friends, which is fine, but they’re all completely excluding me from everything, unless they need someone to babysit. I’d like to think I’m pretty understanding. They have kids, I don’t. They want someone to share stories with and I can’t share those kinds of stories with them.
The thing that really irritated me is one of these girls, we’ll call her M, hasn’t spoken to me in a month. She’s been to where I live, been right down the street from me hanging out with another one of my pregnant friends, but she never once made an effort to contact me. Well, I get a text from her yesterday morning asking me if I would watch her baby while she and another girl, who lives in the same town I do, could go out of town and go shopping. You haven’t talked to me in a month, but you want me to watch your kid while you go off with another one of our mutual friends to go shopping? And this seems to be happening more often. My Maid/Matron of Honor has started doing the same thing to me. Not talking to me for weeks, but spending lots of time with our mutual friends, and then randomly asking me to babysit while she goes out with these people.
To clarify, I’m NOT mad that my groups of friends have intermingled. I’m NOT mad that my friends have kids. I am upset because I’ve often asked these same people to go to a movie with me or go out for dinner and they say they can’t or that they’d have to bring their kid along. And I don’t mind the kids tagging along every now and then, but EVERY time I ask them to do something? And, they can’t spend time with me but they can come here and spend time with everyone else as long as I’m babysitting.
I just don’t know what to do. I don’t mind babysitting sometimes, but I’m in school and I have things to do too. One of my other good friends, who’s 6 months pregnant, told me that even she thinks it’s bullshit. And while she’d love for me to babysit for her sometime, she’d still really love hanging out with me too.
Sorry, I’m doped on up pain pills because of migraines and various other pains and I’m feeling extra emotional.
I apologize in advance in case I seem whiny, but I’m just not sure what to do or how I should talk to these girls.