(Closed) I’m feeling down and need to vent… (sorry this might long)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My Fiance and I are on different schedules and I always leave the house while he’s still sleeping. Once I found out that it bothered him, I started waking him up and kissing him good-bye. He falls right back asleep after and I love saying good-bye to him. Would doing something like that work for you guys?

Post # 4
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I know it’s hard, but just think of why he’s doing it and it’s to give you guys a better life. Darling Husband doesn’t work crazy hours like your Fiance but he does work 4 nights a wekk after working all day long so I get bored and lonely and seem to take it out on him. Then I just remind myself why he is working so hard and it becomes much harder to get angry.

Post # 5
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m sorry, I can see how that can wear on you — even though you know why, and even though it’s not something that you can change without impacting you financially in a bad way. I wish I had better advice. All I can offer is a (((HUG)))

Post # 6
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Wow you Fiance only gets 4 1/2 hours a sleep a day?! Is this forever? You can get very sick from that!

Okay so anyways, wow this really is difficult, I’m so sorry ! His lack of time and existence is taking its toll on you ๐Ÿ™

If this is something that will be permanent during summers, than I guess you will have to just be really honest with him about your desires both sexually and emotionally. Perhaps he can carve out a little time over the weekend for you and him…even if its just laying around in bed or on the couch, order takeout, cook a dinner for two at home, etc.

You don’t want to keep going on like this because the resentment will likely explode into something you don’t really mean.

Post # 8
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Fiance works on the road for weeks at a time in the summer, so I am basically in the same boat as you are…. I completely get it.   Sit down and let him know your feelings, talk it out together.  Get away for a weekend…Make it a priority to reconnect. Kissing, hugging and saying I Love You is so very important.

Post # 8
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

*hugs* 

That is really tough! I’m not in this position, but I can only imagine how stressful it can be.

My only advice is to tell him again how important that goodbye kiss is to you. 

And when you do get time, make sure to get as much of that loving as possible! 

Post # 9
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

First (((hugs)))

I can definitley understand the straining schedule thing… not to that extreme, but until this week Darling Husband has had a schedule were he leaves very early, gets home about 6 only to start working on ministry stuff… most of which would leave him up till about 1130 just to make it to bed to wake up again at 530..

Me see him during the week was just me seeing him work… or edit.. and didn’t get any kind of “time” with him.

I think you and your Fiance really need to talk it through though.. most guys don’t realize that they really have the harder job in the relationsihp by going out a working like they do BUT still having to come and make thier investment into the relationship.. otherwise over time it falls apart.

If I were you, I’d sympathize with his schedule, affirm that you know it’s not forever, but also make clear that there are certain things that you need to feel close and connected in the relationship.. ie. a kiss good bye in the morning, etc

Oh and if this helps…. Darling Husband gives me a kiss before he leaves in the morning and yes I’m still very much so asleep BUT it’s like I’ve gotten so used to it that I usually kinda wake up and then when he leaves go back to sleep sleep… SO you can tell yours that just b/c you’re still in bed doesn’t mean that you won’t notice ๐Ÿ˜‰

Hope you can get it worked out =)

Post # 11
Member
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@couawilou: Next time you guys are together on a Sunday, try to have a short conversation about the kisses.  Tell him that you are not asking to break his balls, but that you miss him and those kisses are your only physical connection with him during the summer, which is hard for both of you.  Be honest about your feelings, and emphasize how mucgh happier something as quick as a kiss goodbye in the morning can make you.  Good luck dear *hugs*

Post # 13
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yeah, I would talk to him like some of the other bees have mentioned and say “hey, it really bothers me that you don’t wanna kiss me before you leave. I know I may be sleeping but it still means a lot to me” Maybe start designating some period of the week during this crazy time that you do something together once a week, even if that something is that he and you watch a movie in the house together so he can still relax. 

Fiance and I, we definitely kiss each other no matter what time the other has to get up. We are both super sad if it doesn’t happen in the morning and it will almost ruin our day! lol, we’re pathetic. 

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