(Closed) I'm feeling insecure for no reason-WTH is wrong with me?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think its a combo of hormones and moving to the next level. Dont let the little voices make you go crazy. I found that when they start to get into my head, the more I try to chase them off, the more powerful they get. So I try to listen to them and have a rational conversation. I even thank them. Those little voices are trying to help you. Unfortunately, they are warning you of danger that doesnt exist. (kinda like having a fire alarm going off in your head all the time, when there isnt a fire)

I found that once I acknowledge that they are trying to help me, but right now in this situation I’ve assessed the situation and they aren’t needed, they tend to calm down. 

But this will only work if you start taking your BCP correctly!!!

Post # 4
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

I don’t really have any good advice (sorry). But I can emphasise a lot with what you’re saying (trying to find a job, worrying about being left, not seeing Boyfriend or Best Friend, crazy hormones).

Generally what I try to do is focus on something else when I’m worrying about something too much – go on WB, start/continue a hobby project or watch a show on my laptop (like a half hour one). Another thing that might help is trying to remind yourself of why your SO isn’t going to leave you, keep repeating that first sentence in your post to yourself and think about all the times he tells you lovely things – even if he isn’t saying them right now he still means them.

 

Ah, I’m not sure I’ve made much sense but I do hope you start feeling better about yourself soon 🙂 (And maybe think about getting a non-hormonal BC or taking the pill regularly again).

Post # 5
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@worldtraveler:  It happens to the best of us. I think anyone would feel insecure in your position… a) it’s a change from seeing him for 3 months and b) now you have a lot more to lose because you realized how much you love him.

If I were you, I would discuss it with him… it may put your fears to rest.

And yeah, the BC pill can really mess with your moods.

Post # 7
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

You’re going to make a HUGE move.  It’s completely understandable.  You might want to write some positives of your relationship and keep them on you… and go with your gut.  You love him you know he loves you.  Hang in there, and talk to him about this too, he’s your best friend and might have some of the same feelings.

Post # 8
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@worldtraveler:  1) get an IUD! 2) The problem is trying to figure out the difference between legitimate intuition warning you and  crazy little voices warning you. Unfortunately, only time and expereince help you figure out the difference. But for me, I can tell because real intuition comes from my gut, where the crazies are like swirling in my head. 

When you talk with them, let them know you will treat what they are telling  you seriously. I’d even write them down. Then you can look at them rationally. ANd you can logically reassure them all the reasons they are wrong. 

And as a side note–when you are with the right guy, you are allowed to be “that girl” every once in a while 🙂 Give yourself permission to be weak and needy. Allow your beloved to support you as you deal with these scary emotions.

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