Post # 1
This isn’t exactly a “waiting” post, but I’m a waiting bee and decided it would be best to post here where I feel most welcomed 🙂
Quick background, my SO and I have been renting a townhouse with his brother (brother owns, we pay half the mortgage and all live together) while we save money to buy our own house next year. It was all going so well, until brother found his girlfriend on match.com. To be fair, he’s a late bloomer and it’s his first real relationship (age 26), so he’s quite the smitten kitten, even after only two weeks of dating. Already talking marriage, moving in, the whole nine yards.
But here’s why I’m upset: Our anniversary is in two weeks, and when I mentioned that we were trying to think of something fun, brother chimes in that’s the weekend he’s taking her to NY, on a private tour of the statue of liberty (the family has an “in”), and they are staying at one of the nicest hotels in the city. I admitted to my SO yesterday that I was jealous – that was the vacation he promised to take me on last year, and it never happened due to work and finances. That would be my ideal anniversary, and he knows this. He feels bad, because I’m sad. And I feel bad, because I know he’s doing everything he can to get us a house and me a ring. We both work hard, but buying a house and getting married aint cheap.
I guess I’m just upset because she strolls in here after two weeks, and brother is already talking marriage (I know, way too soon), and basically giving her everything that my SO wants to give me but can’t afford. I swear, if they get engaged before we do I will lose my damn mind.
Post # 3
Focus more on the relationship between you and your SO. It sounds like everything is going well and leading towards a proposal. That’s wonderful news! Focus on the positives of your relationship, not on someone else’s, it’ll drive you crazy.
Post # 4
My FI and i moved in together, got a dog together and engaged before his brother and his GF who have been together longer and are older. I can feel how upset it has made her and she is very obviously hinting to him repeatedly that she wants to get married. Its awkward because i dont think he really wants to marry her, but isn’t sure what else to do now.
So i would say keep your feelings in check. It doesnt matter how quick you get engaged or how much you can afford. The important thing is that you are HAPPY together and you know being with one another is the most important thing.
Lots of people get engaged for the wrong reason and it never works out. So be happy that you wont be doing that.
Post # 5
@CaliHoya: Thanks – I know that’s what I need to do. It’s just a little frustrating because while we are saving a lot of money for the future, I still want to have some fun now. SO told me (after I admitted my jealousy) that “in two years when we’re married and have a house, I promise you it’ll be worth the sacrifice”. I know he’s right 🙂
@Rush1986: Yes, that is true. I feel bad for your SO’s brother’s GF – are they living together / talking of marriage? My SO has been talking marriage since about three monthes in, but being young and just starting in our careers, it takes time to get “all the ducks in a row”. However, seeing as it’s been two years I’m just getting a little impatient – I want these ducks to start swimming!
Post # 6
@readynwaiting58: Your SO sounds like a great guy! If I were in your shoes I would feel the same way. There’s nothing wrong with being jealous as long as you don’t let it consume you (and it sounds like you’re handling it great). I don’t really have any advice, but I do have *hug* and moral support for you!
Post # 7
@readynwaiting58: They have been together 4.5 years and lived together 1.5 year. We have been together 3.5 years and lived together 2.5 years.
If they do get married i dont know how happy i’ll be. He has admitted to me before he was thinking of ending it. My FI doesnt even know her at all after all this time. So i dont know what is up with FBIL since clearly marriage has terrified him. I dunno.
But thats not my problem. And his brother seems happy for us so thats all that matters.