(Closed) I'm (Fiancee) not invited?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@katjahh:  I hate to say it, but if you guys are engaged, live together, and you’ve been present at family events, excluding you from these weddings seems like an intentional snub. Do you have any reason to believe that FI’s family may not care for you or would not want you there? Do you get along with these people?

Post # 4
Member
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think that’s really rude. Sounds totally dodgy to me ! 

Post # 5
Member
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow some of the rudness that pops up on the bee is exceptional.

What does your Fiance say?

I also sure as hell wouldn’t be going to any more of their family events. 

Post # 6
Member
2955 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

I think it’s really rude. I get the feeling that they may not like you which is really hurtful. My SO’s mother and sister never include me either but they would never not invite me to a wedding.

Post # 7
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Hmm… that seems really rude.  I’d have your fiance inquire as to whether it was an oversight, and if it’s not, he may have to have a serious conversation about his desire for you to be considered part of the family as he IS planning to marry you.

Post # 8
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@katjahh:  

Easiest solution:  have your fiance ask his sister whether or not you’re invited.  It’s a simple yes or no question that’s hard to dodge, imho.  Make sure he gets a straight answer before the conversation ends.

Post # 9
Member
2427 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@katjahh:  thats shocking! id be shocked and hurt and upset and like WTF if my hubbys sister didnt invite me to her wedding – even before we were married or engaged! thats just being nasty. are you prettier than her and shes worried you will upstage her 😉

Post # 10
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@katjahh:  Do they not like you?? I ask this as a serious question – are there other signs that they don’t approve or anything? If it was just this sister I would understand, but the other sisters leaving you out is interesting, and not filling you in on things, etc.

What does your Fiance have to say about all of these issues?

No matter, he needs to call his sister and ask her what’s up. And I would hope he’d be clear with her that you and he are a unit and therefore you are accompanying him to the wedding. Bottom line. 

Post # 11
Member
1656 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Mokara:  +1. I’d love to see how she would answer that if OP wasn’t invited.

 

It does sound like a snub. Do you think they dislike you for any reason?

Post # 13
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

There seems like seem real issues that need addressing here. Might be time for a family talk…

Post # 14
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yea, sorry but I agree with everyone else. He should just ask “is she invited or not?” and get a clear answer.  

 

For the record, if they attempt to dodge him asking, that is clearly incredibly rude. I’m not sure how I would handle it from that point forward though… I’m not exactly great at being tactful or diffusing these kinds of situations.

Post # 15
Member
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow, sounds like they are sending you a pretty harsh message! Your Fiance needs to call immediately.. he should be standing up for you by figuring out what is going on and setting everything straight. Be sure to update us!

 

Post # 16
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I say, definitely ask before getting offended. It might be a genuine mistake. If it turns out you are not invited, that would be very rude. 

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