(Closed) I’m getting impatient…is he just stalling me?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s hard to say if he’s stalling or not without knowing how close together these conversations were or how long you’ve been together. That being said, I think that it’s actually very practical and responsible for him to want to wait until he has a full-time job. If he got the job and then came up with something else he needed to accomplish before proposing, then I would say he was stalling. But give him some time, planning a wedding and being newlyweds is a heck of a lot easier when you’re working full time!

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

going by your post history you have been together about 2yrs or less and he doesnt have a job, i dont think he is stalling you but he has other priorities right now.

i think it would be healthier to focus on enjoying your time together as a couple and maybe you can help him out on the job front instead of showing him rings, he needs to feel that he is also important in the future you will share together and not let it be all about the ring and title.  goodluck!

Post # 6
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think you need to take a look at Mr Bees plan. I sort of followed it, and it worked for me. Once I backed off completely, and stopped mentioning marriage and started doing my own thing, without him, he got right in line and proposed within 2 months. I later found out that he didn’t want to propose until he felt he had enough money in the bank for a down payment for a house. Silly man, like I cared about that!

Post # 7
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@SandyThePoet: But just a warning to the OP, I would not expect it to happen so soon since your boyfriend had made it clear that he does not want to get engaged until he has a full-time job, which like I said in my previous post, is a completely reasonable goal and makes total sense.

Post # 8
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

The number one cause of major fights – and one of the most common reasons couples end up divorcing = money issues. 

A lot of good guys have been raised to believe that it is irresponsible to make a family unless you can provide for that family.  Trust me, thats not a bad thing. 

There is a lot of uncertainty in the job market and the economy – give the guy a break, especially if you’ve only been together for 2 years, thats hardly “stalling”.  But trust me, the more you push and pressure him, the longer you’re going to be waiting.

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