(Closed) I'm getting legally married first but I need ideas

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
2743 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

It is generally frowned upon to have 2 weddings. If there are legal reasons it can sometimes be accepted, but you need to be 100% honest about this situation. The second ceremony is not technically a full wedding but a celebration of marriage of vow renewal. I am in the situation of having a second marriage ceremony but it was one due to medical issues and coverage. We’d put money down on a wedding and due to a loss of employment had to cover me with insurance. We have been very open and honest about this situation with everyone, we are forgoing registries and throwing a huge party to celebrate our marriage in a more personal manner the way we originally intended. Our family and friends are overjoyed for us but my medical situation was well known and this was thus an understandable reason for them. We have chosen to forgo registries as stated because we dont need things we want to bring our families together for a once in a life time celebration.

If you do this everyone needs to know you’ve done it and why. Know that many religions will not perform a wedding on already married couples they will retitle it something else. Many people may give you flack not only here but in your familiy and friends if there isn’t a very valid reason for your two ceremonies. Religious differences may not be good enough reason to do this because many times people have ceremonies that cover both religions.

In your situation I would wait a year and have a legal wedding with your families present and aspects of both religions in that ceremony. I think this would go over much better than essentially sneaking out to get married and informing people with a second ceremony. You have a year to prepare a ceremony that merges both of your cultures in a tasteful manor to honor both of your families.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by  dewingedpixie.
Post # 3
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

Just curious as to what the religious reason you wanted to get legally married earlier was. I know that in some religions (for example, Catholicism) a couple is not considered married until they have had their religious ceremony. So are you arranging a wedding blessing, or an actual convalidation? It will make a huge difference!

Post # 5
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

When people get legally married first and then have their blessing later, they usually just have a very low-key legal wedding with two witnesses and very little in the way of celebration to start with. The actual celebration comes when they have their blessing later on, because that’s when the marriage is “official in the eyes of the church”.

So… do you mean that you effectively want to have two weddings? Because that sounds expensive, for one thing!

Post # 6
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

So why don’t you live apart until you are ready for your wedding? If not, you are already married. You can have a celebration, but you won’t be a bride. Most churches aren’t going to marry a couple that is already married.

Post # 7
9546 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m confused. If you want to be able to live together won’t you need to have a religious ceremony prior to living together? If that religious ceremony is also legal then you’re married in all senses of the word. But you could totally do a vow renewal or marriage blessing a year later! Many churches have a ceremony for a vow renewal.

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