(Closed) I'm going to end the relationship. (Cross necklace spinoff).

posted 6 years ago in Secular
Post # 62
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Eh, hes better off without you. I would rather tell the truth than lie. Im guessing you days on here are now numbered!

 

 

 

Post # 63
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Mischka:  +1,000!

You are being incredibly self-absorbed. He deserves better.

Post # 64
Member
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Next time you start a relationship be honest with yourself and with him. I think he’s better off.

Post # 65
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It’s sad that it had to come to this.  Ultimately, only you know what’s best for your relationship, and if you really think there is no way to get past these differences, then going your separate ways is the best thing for both of you.  

You mentioned in a previous thread that if you had kids you’d let them experience all religions and choose their own way.  What would have happened if one of your children chose to be Christian?  Or Catholic?  Not trying to judge, just curious.

I don’t know if you’d be open to counseling at this point, but it might be beneficial.  As an athiest, it can be hard to truly accept someone’s belief in God…I get that.  But he has never tried to get you to convert…why on earth would you think about asking him to give up his beliefs?  Counseling could help you both learn to not only live with the other’s belief system, but embrace it in your own ways.  That doesn’t mean wearing a cross or believing in God, and it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t get to do those things.  Just something to think about.

I wish you the best…truly.  I’m sorry people are giving you such a hard time. 

Post # 66
Member
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Please dont take all of the bashing you copped on here by a bunch of bees as the major influence for your decision. Regardless of your differing religious beliefs, most couples have different beliefs on different things such as how to discipline children, dress sense, social outgoingness, intelligence, politics, family values etc. Actually, all great, long lasting relationships have been built on compromise, trust/forgiveness and communication. Each and every one of them have also reached points where differing opinons could make or break it.

 

If you really want it to work hon, you can. Its just about acceptance of others differing points of veiw. If you can accept it and so can he, what is the problem… if not, well I guess you are making the right decision for the both of you.

 

Ultimately its your decision though because it is your life and you have the freedom and choice to make up your own opinions and beliefs. And, you should not be beaten up or called selfish, inconsiderate bla bla by a bunch of  self riteous goody goody key board heros for it. 

 

I am still reeling at how much you have been bashed for speaking up about how you feel and am worried that this is the main reason behind your decision to end your relationship with him. Please before you do it, really ask yourself if the result of the last few boards that went skewed were a major influence in your conclusion. I would just hate for you to regret it down the track when it is too late.

 

Post # 68
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Ok, he sounds like a great guy from previous posts.  I get that bees, but why is she being called names because she feels strongly for and against certain belief systems? I hate to say it, but religion can be the big white elephant in the room. I am outspoken enough to realize early on there where several things that I needed my SO to be on the same page about.  Religion was one of them. Politics and having kids were the others.  I actually think I should have considered a few others too, now that I think about it…

If she knows that she can’t make this work, she is doing the wise thing by ending it now.  Everyone is different.  I’ll be the first to say I can’t be open-minded about everything and I know I’m not the only person like this.  It’s best to save all involved the heartache if she knows now.

@EmilyInIdaho: I am sure it is hard because you’ve said he is a great guy.  Please think hard about this.  The worst thing in life is to live with regrets.  But if you are sure, I think you are trying to do both of you a favor and be honest.  No one can ask for more.

Post # 69
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@wifey2be:  +1 You said it best!

Post # 70
Member
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@mrspinesol:  wow. I agree with you, but would have never posted that. 

Post # 72
Member
4369 posts
Honey bee

Ignore the rude posts. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you guys. If it’s something you can’t work through, it’s best to move on. 

Post # 73
Member
30 posts
Newbee

This makes me so incredibly sad to hear. I had read the other threads and hoped for the best for you two… I’m agnostic and my SO is Christian. We have found a way to make it work, had hoped you two could as well. Best of luck to you both.

Post # 75
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@EmilyInIdaho:

Being a christian I’ve been taught the whole “unequally yoked ” lesson many times. I do have friends who are atheist, buddhism,muslim,seventh day,etc. So even tho i may not totally agree with their beliefs we are very open minded and respectful so I honestly respect your decision. Even tho he may not have gone to church often or at all things can change . My mom believes in God and hasn’t been to church in years it doesn’t change her views tho when she’s ready to go back to church she has that option. I agree problems will come up in the future not going to church doesn’t = atheist. As simple as if he’s christian he may want the child to be baptise or something that goes against your views and will make you uncomfortable. He can always change his mind and start back up at church and become stronger in his faith… many things can change and happen. Him being a great guy isn’t a good enough reason to stay and if either of you aren’t willing to change it’s best to leave now. Good luck and I know that you’ll find a great guy that also agrees with your views.  

Post # 76
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

So he’s perfect in every way except he believes in something higher than himself and that is too much for you? I just don’t get that. I mean especially if he’s not trying to convert you. He didn’t even expect you to wear the necklace, he just wanted you to have it, because it was something he believed in and he wanted to share it with you. You are a complete hypocrite. You would stay with him if he was atheist? It sounds to me like you don’t love him at all if something as stupid as this can end your relasionship. OMG he bought you a thousand dollar necklace. I am so sorry. I’m catholic and if my fiance bought me a satanic necklace I would be like “weird, but thanks?’ I love him, and he can believe what he wants as long as he doesn’t expect me to change my beliefs for him. But whatever. I guess he is better off without you.

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