- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 1999
I’m a newbie here so will introduce myself. My name is Ana, I’m 23 and am in a long term relationship with my girlfriend. We live together, have a nice little flat, get on great with eachothers families, and basically I’ve decided to pop the question and ask her to marry me. I’m going to approach her brother and mother (her father is deceased) and not ask for their permission, but ask for their blessing, which I’m hoping they will give us as I get on great with both of them. I suppose we’re quite a traditional couple in that respect; asking for her mother and brothers blessing and all that. So I joined up to this website as I suppose this is the start of the wedding journey? We’ve already agreed we want to get married and all that, so now it’s a case of popping the question.
But I’m needing a bit of help.
In our relationship, we don’t really do “gender roles”. We get really annoyed when someone assumes one of us is “the man” of the relationship or asks who the butch one is. We’re both women… that’s why it’s a lesbian relationship 😉 Neither of us is “butch” and even if one of us was, we’re not the type of people to apply those sorts of labels to eachother. I don’t care if I tend to wear dresses and she tends to wear shirts; I see her as a woman, and she sees me as a woman, and that’s all that matters to us. We each play different roles in the relationship and people can put gender labels on to them if they like, but it’s just not like that. She is the one who takes care of our finances, usually cooks, and does little romantic surprises. I’m the one who organises nights out with our mutual friends, designs and styles our home, arranges family get togethers etc, BUT… I’ve always felt that she is the one who would propose, simply because it’s her style to be the really romantic one. And always when we’ve spoken about these things, she always spoken about when SHE proposes, not the other way around. Recently however, I’ve been feeling I would like to do it. I mentioned the idea to her and said “what if I got there before you…” She laughed and I think now she realises she cant just assume she’ll be the one proposing. This change of heart that actually I would like to propose has meant I don’t have a lot of ideas about how I would do it. We’ve done a lot of talking about our wedding and how we’d want something less formal and more friendly and personal – more us, as opposed to someting cookie cut. Think a brass band, a hog roast and a selection of British homebaked cakes 😉 I suppose you could call it a small quintisentially British wedding that we have in mind. But all this talk means I haven’t actually given a lot of thought to proposals. That’s where I need help.
I can’t see us doing it over dinner in a restaurant. Although we love eating out, doing the proposal in a formal setting just doesn’t seem to fit. It’s not us. I see it being something more private and between us, like a picnic. But the idea I’ve been thinking ff, is like a gourmet picnic. We both love food. We lead very active lifestyles, i.e gym, me running my business, her volunteering with an ambulance service, but food is like our big guilty pleasure. We love nothing more than tucking in to a big steak and chips, or making a massive bowl of yummy macaroni cheese. We also love our wines and champagne. Oh, and dessert, cannot forget the dessert. Mouth is actually watering now. We love a good three course dinner basically.
So hit me with your thoughts and your ideas – gourmet picnic proposal? I know there’s a lot of logistics here, like can you really have a gourmet picnic with just cold food? Or is there someway I could arrange an outdoor hot picnic? Or maybe it’s a case of hiring a self catering cottage somewhere with a balcony and setting up there? And how do I get in the actual proposal into this picnic anyway? So much to work out but I’m determined I’m going to do this before Christmas.
Give me your stories, thoughts and ideas!