I'm Going To Propose — Would Appreciate Some Advice

posted 1 year ago in Proposals
  • poll: What should I do with the letter?
    Leave it for her in the morning before you propose : (9 votes)
    27 %
    Give it to her after you propose : (23 votes)
    70 %
    Ditch the letter all together : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 2
    2510 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think it sounds like a beautiful letter, and I don’t think you can really go wrong. But I do think the langauge of the letter could tip her off that a proposal is coming, so if you want her to be more surprised I would give her the letter afterward. 

    Post # 3
    11647 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    cambro86 :  love your whole idea and the letter will be something she’ll cherish forever. You could even read it to her as you prepare to get down on one knee. My dude did this for me and it was so moving, and I’m glad he had it written down because I couldn’t remember much if what he had actually said to me that day, as I was so shocked and overwhelmed! 

    Good luck, but I don’t think you need it- you sound very sweet. Let us know how it goes! 

    Post # 4
    3731 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    What a sweet letter! I do think it will definitely tip her off that a proposal is coming. If her family will be around when you propose, can you have a family member hand it to her (preferably somewhere more private) while you slip away? I think proposing immediately after she reads it is ideal…otherwise it could be a little anti climatic if she reads it and then you just go on about your day. 

    Post # 5
    1415 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think the letter and the proposal should be pretty close in time because the letter will tip her off. But I love the idea of giving it to her in the morning. Maybe you could let her find it in the morning, then when she comes our of the room be ready to propose. And then you guys can announce to the family together when you see them?

    Post # 6
    1141 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    Maybe you could give her the letter and as she’s almost finished reading it get down on one knee?  I’m imagining this and my eyes are watering. Make it part of the proposal because it will definitely tip her off.

    Post # 8
    122 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    My fiance wrote me a love letter and left it on my work desk the morning before he proposed. It DID tip me off, BUT I wasn’t sure, because he had also thrown me off the scent! It DID give me the idea to get myself around “just in case” (she will want to ensure her nails are tidy, for instance), and then when he did propose that night, he did it in such a way that I still got totally faked out!!! So yes, I guess what I am saying is that leaving her the letter wouldn’t be a bad thing! 

    Post # 9
    2131 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    My husband did something similar. He gave me the letter and then proposed. She will have a “hint” that it’s coming while she reads the letter. 

    Post # 10
    1560 posts
    Bumble bee

    What are you planning for the proposal? I think it needs to follow straight after the letter, and needs to be somewhere private because that letter would make me cry! 

    Post # 13
    102 posts
    Blushing bee

    Hi bee, this is probably one of the most romantic thing I’ve heard lately. Wow… what a lucky lady, and what a lucky person you are 😉

    How about this? Put the letter on her bedside in the morning, wake her with a kiss, ensure she sees it, then hide in the bathroom when she reads it. As soon as she finishes, go out and get down on one knee.

    Or put the ring on top of the letter, as soon as she finish reading it, come out of bathroom/wherever and slips the ring on her finger.

    Anyway all of your ideas sound so lovely.

    Just be careful with the fountain pen’s ink though. From experience most of them doesn’t resist water very well (even tears are making huge spots and erase the words, days after the ink dries). If either of you are going to cry on it, the ink might botch.

    Post # 14
    751 posts
    Busy bee

    cambro86 :  I would leave it at her bedside in the morning and allow her to soak it all up and then go about the day as usual.

    I think if you have told her that you will propose in a year or two, then she might not expect it yet and just see it as a romantic gesture. At least that is how I would interpret this. 

    If you want to throw her off the scent further, I would add a little note to the envelope of the letter that says something like, “I know that this is the anniversary of [insert event here] and I wanted to write you this letter…” (or something along those lines) because that makes it seem as if you wrote the letter purely due to the anniversary of the event.

    Plus, if you let her read the letter in the morning and then go about your day as normal, she is probably going to not suspect you will propose in the evening.

    But you could do it either way, this would just be my preference to make the specialness of the moments last a bit longer. But I don’t think you can go wrong either way!

    Post # 15
    735 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    My fiance used a christmas card to propose to me. He gave it to me and while I was reading it, he went around behind me. When I finished reading I turned to look for him and he was on one knee with the ring. It was honestly perfect – but if he had given me the christmas card earlier I would have totally known what was coming. 

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