(Closed) I'm going to strangle this bridesmaid

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
969 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think you need to be blunt and talk to her once more that you would rather she have a different hairstyle.  I’d let the makeup thing go, honestly — I don’t know why, but it’s like, making a big deal of that will have more implications for how you’re describing her day to day choices, if that makes sense?

And insist on the necklaces you bought.  You can explain you chose the dresses and the necklaces and that everyone is wearing them and there’s no alternative.

Be nice, but stand your ground.  Hopefully she won’t care–but in the end, her hair and makeup—are such personal choices, I wouldn’t insist someone do something else but it’s certainly worth being direct about how you feel about the hair.  

Post # 3
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

oh my goodness! Im no where close to that phase in my wedding planning but im curious to see what other bee’s suggest. Maybe be firm and to the point with her. Its your day!!! Explain that you want a unified look and that includes hair make-up and accessories. Its unfair to you to make it about herself. Maybe she is self conscience about being out without make up on? Does she have bad skin? that might explain the hesitation. Keep us posted on what happens!

Post # 4
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Country Cottage and Gardens

This makes my glad that I only have my sister as a bridesmaid. But i would just say that you’re going for a cohesive look (this s even easier if the dresses match) and that this would be better achieved if everyone is wearing the same type of makeup and with a similar style to their hair. Even if the styles are different in the specifics, I’m assuming there’s somewhat of a cohesive look to all of them. As far as the necklaces, I would just stress that you’re really sticking to a budget and that the planning has super expensive and you already bought necklaces for everyone. 

Post # 5
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Is that hairstyle something that culturally appropriate for her hair and she has done before/is comfortable with, or are we talking a Monica Gellar in Barbados situation?

Post # 7
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

View original reply
serendipityz:  πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Why do I remember that episode?

Post # 8
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

It’s a treat for the eyes and the ears!!!!!!

Post # 10
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

I would let her look like crap honestly. 

Post # 11
Member
2260 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I think the hair is debatable, consider

View original reply
serendipity‘s question. 

Makeup is her own perogative, *you* may not think it looks good, but if it makes her feel good about herself and its within her capabilities then you have to go with it. 

I would have them wear the necklaces, no questions asked. Have another Bridesmaid or Best Man be responsible for getting her to wear it. 

Post # 12
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

If they aren’t struggle braids her hair may actually look quite nice. 

Post # 13
Member
5866 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

View original reply
mrstseluyu:  +1, me too.

You basically have three options here:

1) you can let her look crappy and be a good friend (since no pics, I’m just going with your assessment that she will in fact look crappy).

2) you can be honest with her and tell her she looks bad.  This may achieve a certain look for your wedding but will most likely sour your friendship.

3) you can pay for hair & makeup for all of your girls so that you aren’t singling her out.  Because singliner her out is really just option #2.

I’d probably go with option #1.  These are the moment that you have to decide if you will be a bridezilla or not.  Caring more about the way things look rather than the way people feel is the hallmark of a bridezilla.  Tread carefully.

  • This reply was modified 5 years ago by Profile Photo.
Post # 15
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee

You chose this woman because you love her, right? And you knew what she looked like prior to asking her to stand up with you?

Let her do her makeup the way she prefers. Let her do her hair how she prefers. It was nice of you to offer to pay for hair and makeup, but she’s declined. 

You have 12 days. Sit back and enjoy the last days of your engagement and get excited for the wedding. This is a nonissue.

The topic ‘I'm going to strangle this bridesmaid’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors