Post # 1
Finally that magic moment has hit … the moment when I realize that my wedding really ISN’T as important to anyone else as it is to me! I always knew it, but it didn’t really hit til recently.
This has been the year of the big announcement in my family. Seems like everybody’s got something going on. Fiance and I got engaged over Christmas, and we thought that was kind of a big deal. We picked a venue and set a date almost immediately, and the whole family got behind the planning effort since we were having a short (5 month) engagement, and it was great! Sister took over flowers, mom and dad took over dealing with caterers, photographer, DJ, you name it. I loved that my whole family was getting into the spirit.
Now I’m sort of losing them. Sister just announced that she’s pregnant, and that’s great and I’m happy for her, but obviously it means her attention has, shall we say, drifted. I don’t blame her — I’m sure if I got pregnant I’d care a hell of a lot more about that than about someone else’s wedding — but it’s still a minor bummer in my wedding excitement because that’s one less person that’s super excited and super involved.
Then my parents sold their house and bought a new one, and their closing date is two weeks after the wedding. So now for the next two months, while I bounce around trembling with excitement for the big day, they’ll be half-bouncing with excitement and half stressed planning how they’re going to pack and move 20 years worth of crap. I can tell they’re distracted already — yesterday I emailed my mom pictures of some DIY stuff I wanted to make, and instead of her usual instant response, I had to actually ask if she’d gotten what I sent because she hadn’t said anything about it. And Dad won’t get back to me on a song choice for the father-daughter dance even though I asked several times (and he’s also usually an instant-response kind of guy).
I guess it just stinks to be brimming over with excitement but have nobody to share it with! Future Mother-In-Law is tickled pink that her only child is getting married, so maybe I should overflow some of my excitement onto her! She already asked for a second invitation so she can keep one at work to show everyone and one at home to show everyone 😉
And of course, when it comes to making decisions on things that I need second opinions on, there’s always the Bees here to help if my sister and mom are too busy! And boy do I need some second opinions … haha let the posting begin!
Post # 3
I know how you feel. Because you are super excited about your wedding you want everyone else to be too but that is not always the case. Everyone has there own lives to think about. The best thing to do would be to share your excitement with your Future Mother-In-Law because she seems just as excited as you are 🙂
Post # 4
@PinkFlemingo: This happened with me, too. my brother in law had a baby about 6 months before the wedding so all of the attention was on them. Literally, that damn baby was all everyone could talk about. But, about a month before the wedding everyone seemed to care and WANT to get involved. Hopefully once the day comes closer, their initial response is the same as when you first got engaged
Post # 5
@MlleBrielle: haha “that damn baby” made me chuckle 🙂 I’m going to keep my expectations somewhat low, since as the day approaches for me it also gets closer for them and the big things going on in THEIR lives! I mean I know they’ll be there and be all about it when the time comes, but it sucks when I can’t even get my parents’ attention on important questions.
Oh, and adding to the fun, the officiant of the ceremony is preggo sister’s husband. So he’s on the distracted boat too. So help me god if our ceremony includes some mumbo-jumbo about them and how blessed they are to be able to bring life into this world. She’ll only be five months along! I can still see it happening though …
Post # 6
I completely understand. My Future Sister-In-Law found out she was pregnant a few weeks after we got engaged. It is all my Future Mother-In-Law is talking about…when we went bridesmaid dress shopping (which we had to do early before she starts showing) we somehow ended up in Pottery Barn Kids and baby stores! I’m so excited to be an Aunt but really!? My wedding is almost a year away so I can only imagine it will get worse lol.
Post # 7
I just hope she doesn’t hijack the whole wedding weekend. My family is all Canadian and we’re quite the drinkers — my parents are going to have kegs flowing pretty much all weekend and everyone will be hanging out at their house — and I can totally see my sister there making a big fuss about how she can’t drink. “I AM PREGNANT THANKS NO ALCOHOL FOR ME CAN’T YOU SEE MY PREGNANT BELLY????!”
At least if she does I’ll get to pull out my favorite joke for when idiots insist that I’m pregnant (which of course is the only reason people get married) while I have a beer in my hand. “I’m drinking for two!”
Post # 8
@PinkFlemingo: FI’s cousin is like an extra daughter to the Future In-Laws, for whatever reason they’re close to her. So, everything that goes on in her life gets as much attention as anything that goes on in Fiance or his siblings’ lives. FCIL and her DH announced early February that they were going to start TTC immediately. Now, I am kinda sitting around waiting for her pregnancy announcement to blow my wedding out of the water. I know how petty and ridic that sounds. But, she’s not the type of person who will be interested in sharing the “spotlight” and I’m not the type of person to demand mine. She is gonna be hogging everyone’s attention with all baby talk, all of the time, before the EPT stick even dries. Hell, she’s already started and she’s NOT EVEN PREGNANT YET! Everytime they come over for family dinners, we spend the entire time talking baby names, ovulation patterns, diaper brands, etc. and there’s no baby yet. Every conversation that comes up about my wedding ends up leading to a conversation about FCIL’s non-existent pregnancy.
So, your comment about the alcohol made me chuckle because I am already experiencing this with FCIL. Future Mother-In-Law asked me (in FCIL’s presence) how many bottles of wine I think we should bring down for our beach stay after the wedding. FCIL busts into the conversation with, “Well, I won’t be drinking at the beach.” Umm, okay, that’s fine but no one was asking you? Later on, Future Mother-In-Law asked me when I planned to start going to the tanning bed and before I could answer her, FCIL said, “I guess I won’t be tanning this year!”
I’ve just been taking it all in stride. My family is really excited for this wedding, so if Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law want to put more focus into FCIL when she gets pregnant then I’ll just share my excitement with my side of the family 🙂
Post # 9
im having the same problem, i feel like our wedding is put in the back burner all the time. His mother is prego, my cousin is having a second wedding a month before mine. and other people / family members arent really taking us serisouly becuase of our age. yes we are young, but were in love, theres no baby involved theres no pressure from enraged marriage. its simply just love, and i feel our love is stronger than most couples ive seen. Im happy with my desicion and im glad im doing this. no one can change my mind even when almost someone in either his family or mine think we are stupid for making a this choice in life.
no matter what, i know Gods by our side. and he has a big future for us
Post # 10
I understand where you’re coming from….buts thats what the Bee is for! I know it isn’t the same, but I find myself gushing with other brides about their plans and then my family doesn’t get so much of it!
Post # 11
@Pinksapphire: hahaha at least I didn’t have to deal with baby-talk until AFTER the pregnancy was announced!!! It also helps that I live in VA while they all live in WA, so I don’t have to deal with it on a daily basis. Which also sucks, because then when I come to town for the wedding I won’t be used to it. My real bachelorette party is going to be out here in VA with all the friends that don’t get to come to the family-only wedding (trust me, they’d rather just go to a super fun bachelorette party haha), but then one of the WA-based bridesmaids wants to have another small one out in Seattle when we get there. I can only IMAGINE how much fun DS will be at that … “I’ll be the designated driver, because I’m PREGNANT and can’t drink … but we can’t stay out late, because I’m TOO TIRED FROM BEING PREGNANT! Did I show you my ultrasound yet? How about the bartender? Did I show her yet? I can’t remember. Uh oh, MOOD SWING! These hormones make it okay for me to be a heinous bitch!”
At least I got my ‘something borrowed’ out of the deal. I got my BMs garter-flasks for their gift, and since DS won’t get to enjoy hers, guess which bride is stealing that sucker? Stolen = borrowed in my book 😉
@Hippos: LOVE THE BEE!!!! I’ve been peppering you guys with questions and you always have something useful to add. And when I don’t have any questions, I just post pictures of me jumping up and down with excitement and those get a positive review too 🙂