(Closed) Im happy .. why wont people just it be.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Move?

Post # 5
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Do activities with people other than going to the clubs, maybe mom just things your lonely.

Post # 7
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

maybe tell them you’re not happy and are considering moving because of the way that they’re pressuring you (if moving is an option) and perhaps they’ll get the hint?

Post # 8
Member
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Use the broken record technique. Every time they bug you about going out, just repeat the same sentance. Every time. Same sentance, word-for-word, in the same tone of voice. Example:

Them: Are you going out tonight?

You: I’m happy staying in tonight.

Them: But it’s Saturday! You should be out at the club.

You: I’m happy staying in tonight.

Them: You haven’t been out in forever…

You: I’m happy staying in tonight.

Them: Come on, what’s a few hours going to hurt? It will be fun.

You: I’m happy staying in tonight.

Them: Is that all you can say?!

You: I’m happy staying in tonight.

Them: … I guess she’s happy staying in tonight….

Post # 9
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Well if you’re not trying to cultivate lifelong friendships with these girls just keep telling them no. Or avoid them until you move. Obviously they like you and want to hang out with you, I suppose it’s better than having hostile roommates right?

Agreed with PP, maybe your mother just thinks you’re lonely and should be going out more. It’s kind of her job to worry about you. My mother used to pester me all the time when I moved out “Are you eating? Do you have friends? Are you going out? Are you being safe?” It’s really never going to end, she still does it to me now and I’m married with kids of my own.

Post # 10
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@leecy87:  when you live your life dfferently, people will always wonder how you can be happy when you aren’t doing the things THEY enjoy. it will always be like this.

it’s like this with me. i’m 29… i went to ONE club one time in my life. i hate going to parties, especially ones with heavy drinking. i never played with the dating scene. i have had quite a happy life and other people don’t understand how because they have this idea of what you need to do to have fun and my way of life doesn’t fit.

so… no worries! just let everyone’s words fly over your head. give up on convincing them you are fine and just nod and smile. when faced with pressure to conform, just be firm and then ignore them.

 

 

example: you are watching an awesome episode of Doctor Who while munching on delicious cheese popcorn. Your friends ask you to go out. 

“No thanks, the cybermen are attacking. Serious business.”

They don’t stop. Come on. It will be fun. 

Look at them with the most serious expression you have.

“If I don’t watch………. the Doctor will die and everything will be lost forever.”

Then turn back to the tv and ignore every other word they say until they walk away.

Post # 12
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@rosworms:  “If I don’t watch………. the Doctor will die and everything will be lost forever.” lol! That is great!

I agree with alot of the other PP that are saying that your flatmates are just trying to spend time with you.  I doubt they’re trying to offend you by asking you to come join them.  If you really don’t want to go out, just keep telling them no.  When I studied abroad my roommates were really into the bar scene and I wasn’t.  They would invite me to go and I kept turning them down.  It gets old to hear it week after week, but they just wanted me to have a good time. 

 

Post # 14
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I know exactly how you feel. My SO lives in the US, I live in Scotland and we’ve been long distance for over 2 years. I loved going to clubs in my 1st year of uni, but less so now. They all seem similar and you can’t hear your friends talk, especially the horrible techo ones. My friends being mostly chinese and zambian are fine without clubbing every saturday night as it’s not really in their culture. We go to the cinema, nice resturants/bars, have house parties or have girly nights in. This would not work with my fellow scots as they are all clubbing/alchies and can’t seem to have fun any other way on a saturday night.

It’s seems your flatmates are the same as they feel they have to be out partying every week. Perhaps suggest alternative ways to have fun on a saturday night? It’s nice to have cosy nights in some nights, but it’s also fun to get out and do something once in a while. It doesn’t have to be a stinky club with horrible music where guys try to hit on you. 

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