(Closed) I'm having a really hard time

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
979 posts
Busy bee

I understand. I’m going through the same exact thing. I’ve been in a crappy  mood since Friday. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve been taking it out on everyone.  I have 2 kids, ages 6 and 10, and they are all I keep thinking about, they are only  with me 50% of the time too.   SO and I have been fighting since yesterday about stupid stuff.  

Post # 4
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Try and think positive and know that those little kids are safe now. It’s a terrible thing that happened but they wouldn’t want to see you mourning them, they would all want you to be happy and enjoy this christmas because they can’t. They will all be remembered just like the 9/11 victims, columbine victims, etc. Hugs to you!

Post # 5
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Madi.So.Excited:  *HUGS* It’s especially hard this time of year to think about something so tragic.

Post # 6
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Op I feel the same way, for me I think a lot of it has to do with I have a child now. He is only 15 months but still. Every little bit more information hear about those children makes me cry myself

Post # 7
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This is very common, from the ladies that I work with.  Everybody is just dumbstruck.  Keep doing what you’re doing, see if there is anyway to get involved (coordinate a fundraiser/scholarship fund, etc) and try your best to get in the christmas spirit.  Maybe make some cookies and give them to neighbors with kids.  If anything, this has taught us not to take kids for granted….

I hope you feel better soon.  🙁

ps.  I am the opposite. I have been practically stalking all info on Adam trying to figure out how this happened and haven’t cried yet.  Not one tear.  I think it’s my denial that it didn’t really happen until I figure out how/why he did it. I too am not really feeling christmas this year.

Post # 8
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

First of all, I just want to hug you. Then I want to say that I, too, have had similar feelings – and I’m not even in the US. One of the little girls looks so much like my niece it shocked me to my core.

I’m going to go all Dr. Phil on you (literally) and tell you what he said to the parents of some of the surviving children: the length and breadth of your grief (ie. how long / “hard” you grieve”) is in no way tied to the depth of your emotions regarding the deceased. That means, whether you grieve for two days or two milleniums means nothing, really – it’s no reflection on how much you care about the deceased, their family, etc.

So I guess I’m just trying to say that what I think might be happening is that you feel like you should feel badly for going on with your life, and you shouldn’t. It’s so so sad and so terrible that it happened, but life has to go on. And believe it or not, it will go on for the parents of the children, teachers, principal, guidance counsellor, and even for the family of the shooter. You do no one any good by trying to stop life – it’s just impossible.

Hang in there. Feel sad when you need to, but please don’t let it consume you.

Post # 9
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Big hugs to you!  I’m so sorry.  It breaks my heart to think about it so I’ve chosen to not watch any of the media coverage on it.  It’s just too much to see their faces and think about it all.  That has been helping me. 

If you are religious just remember while their deaths were tragic…they are in a much better place.  That has also helped me. 

Post # 10
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Awe.  I had a hard time with it, too.  It feels weird, because like you said, I live states away and don’t actually know anyone who was involved.  It is just so gut wrenchingly sad.  I went into my school’s kindergarten classroom to speak with the teacher earlier this week and just about cried.  I just can’t imagine how anyone could walk into a room of children like that and…   So sad.

Post # 11
9888 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Madi.So.Excited:  ((HUGS))  Oh, hon, I’ve been feeling the same way.  It’s the most horrible thing I’ve ever heard in my life.  I’ve cried about it every single day since it happened and have watched and read everything possible for more news.  I also have no personal connection to anyone in CT or involved in the tragedy.  In fact, I think my Darling Husband is getting a little concerned that I’m taking it so hard.

You’re not alone in how you’re feeling.  We are all in this world and in this country together.  It hurts so very, very much to think that precious, innocent, harmless women and children could lose their lives like that.  There is no way to make any sense of it.  It takes away a sense of safety almost anywhere.  If it could happen there, to those people, no kind of violence is off limits any more.

I felt the same way after the 9/11 tragedy and Waco and the Unibomber incident.  But this one is even worse.  It’s senseless and horrific.  It will take a long time for us to heal as a nation and even longer for the families to heal, if they ever do completely.  So many lives destroyed and so many lives touched by this. 

I keep feeling like it’s not possible that it even happened, like screaming in my mind, “No, No, No that did not happen, it couldn’t have!”  I usually feel that way the very first moment I wake up in the morning. 

Crying with you here.

Post # 12
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My mom and I were talking about this. We’re kinda in the same boat. I keep seeing little kids running around at the stores and I get extremely sad. I have a younger sister and I think that’s why the two of us keep feeling that way.

Post # 13
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

Its okay to be sad. But if it starts affecting your life negatively and turns into depression, make sure you talk to a councellor or your doctor.

Post # 14
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I feel the same way. I’ve cried so many times about it. And I feel guilty about even thinking about enjoying Christmas. I do find solace in watching the interviews with the parents because they all seem very pulled together and calm. If THEY can be calm on TV, then I feel like I can be calm.

Post # 16
1543 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I know its really hard. I had to stop watching the news and reading all the stories from the parents cus it just made me cry. But I have to say – you say you pray – so if you are a christian then you should take comfort in knowing they are in heaven away from all suffering and they get to spend christmas with the God of the universe. I mean you just gotta think of all things they were spared from and not about what they lost out on. The families are the ones that were really hurt long term. Those kids don’t know what they’ve missed out on – all they know now is the immense beauty of heaven. I pray for the families and the parents and the children left behind. Their healing time is no doubt going to be a long one and i pray those kids left behind get the help they need to move on. Death is a difficult concept for kids at that age – let alone seeing your friends die in front of your very eyes.

My advice – stay away from the media – it only sucks you in more. Just try to move on. The families need time to heal and I actually feel bad for them being in the media spotlight like this during such a difficult time.

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