You are definitely not alone in feeling this way!! I have felt this way for much of my own wedding planning, and I’m glad you posted this because reading through everyones’s responses made me feel happy. We got engaged last summer, and we a very outdoorsy couple (he proposed on a mountaineering trip we took together), and if we could have it our way, we’d have a private ceremony in the mountains with just immediate family. We actually discussed this with our families, but my parents were really really set on having a bigger wedding. They have saved up money for the wedding for years, and I got convinced because in the end, family is important to us so I figured ok, sure, lets have a bigger wedding. But once the planning got started, it evolved into a much much bigger wedding (over 300 invited!!), and all these logistical details that I didn’t care about. I realized everyone else has an opinion and you’ll never please everyone. trying to agree on something between my mom, sister, grandma, and future inlaws is near impossible, let alone all the other guests my mom is trying to please. And Fiance and I are uncomfortable with the amount of money being spent– it goes against a fundamental life value we have. Around October, I had a serious talk with him, and told him I wanted to cancel it, that we wouldn’t have lost that much money, and just elope. He calmed me down and helped me realize how upset that would cause our families to be which would just be even MORE stress, and something that they probably would hold bad feelings over.
Fast forward to now. My wedding is in less than 3 weeks. Has it been stressful? Sooooo stressful. I don’t care about any of these decisions. But I try and remember this wedding is for them. My parents are so excited and proud to show us off at the wedding, and to have a good party for people. This wedding is for them, not for us. We’ve decided on our honeymoon to have “OUR” ceremony and say our own private vows in the mountains together with no one else around. That has allowed me to feel like we still get our wedding ceremony that we would want but our families are also happy. And you have to just let the details go. They are paying for it, so it IS their party, so let them make the final say unless you really really care (pick your battles). And in the end, like everyone has said, just remember that at the end of the day you will be married to your best friend and that’s all thats matters. I find myself trying to calm down my mom, my Maid/Matron of Honor (sister), etc which makes me feel frustrated sometimes bc I felt like that shouldn’t be my role, but if it helps things be less stressful its worth it. And my wonderful Fiance gives me massages. 🙂 And I go for runs. And I try and meditate and relax as much as I can, and remind myself to try and just witness my feelings of stress without engaging in them. Its hard, and I agree, after the wedding, we will ALL be so relieved (mom also says can’t wait til its all over). But we’re both people pleasers and so that’s been what makes its so stressful. Just try and let it go, enjoy the positive aspects, and remember your wedding doesn’t define you, so those little things that you don’t agree with or like don’t matter. Like someone else said, just say surprise me, or just choose something randomly if you’re not into it. Just making a decision is the hardest part sometimes.
My finance (and mom too even) already laugh at times about how ridiculous things have got, and really, sometimes thats all you can do. It’s better than crying 😉
Hope you feel better! Sending hugs! We’re almost through it all 😉 haha
eocenia: I literally laughed out loud hard at the whole trout story… thanks for that! 🙂