(Closed) I’m having two wedding ceremonies. Which one should we get legally married in?

posted 7 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What if you switched the order? Had the legal one here and THEN went to Costa Rica? Or would that defeat the purpose of a private ceremony for you? 

If so it would probably be okay to do Costa Rica not legal and just pretend. But then when would your anniversary be? 

Post # 5
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We got legally married months ago at city hall with friends as our witness and are planning our destination wedding in Jamaica with our friends and family in 2 short months. Our ceremony in Jamaica is the more meaningful one for us as it is where we affirm our love and commitment to each other in front of our friends and family. The legal one was just signing papers. We will always recognize our Jamaica wedding date as our true wedding date. Both of us already have trouble remembering the exact date of our city hall ceremony. 

If it were me, I would sign the papers in the states with the parents but I would probably always celebrate my anniversary as the private ceremony in Costa Rica. It seems like that is the one that will mean more to you and will be toatlly personal and magical. As an added bonus you don’t have to deal with the paperwork from an international marriage. We have friends who got married in Mexico years ago and it still isn’t legal here because they haven’t felt like dealing with the paperwork!

Post # 6
11418 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Since you’re only talking about having just your parents — and no other guests — at the second wedding, why not just allow your parents to come to the Costa Rica wedding and have one ceremony?


Post # 8
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Just get married legally with just the two of you you was goning to do it like that anyway and come back and have a recpetion/ party and renew your vows in front of your parents/ friends.

Post # 11
305 posts
Helper bee

whatever works better on your taxes.


Post # 12
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m in a similar dilemma.

I really want to get legally married in Hawaii(would love my marriage cert to say Hawaii!) but my parents wont be able to travel that far(not bothered about having anyone else there). Said this to my mother but she said she would prefer to see me legally married as it wouldnt mean anything to her being at a ‘fake’ ceremony so now I’m so torn

Post # 13
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Two ceremonies would be against my religion but we are getting married outside of the country and having a religious ceremony that doesn’t require a marriage lisence, only religious credentials, and it would ‘simplfiy’ things persay, if we got civilly married before we left or when we get back, but I really want it all to happen on the same day, so we are pushing ot have both the religious and civil part of our marriage be official on the same day. I just don’t want two wedding dates, I just think the day is so special, I dont’ want to try to recreate it in any shape or form. We are having a reception when we get back, with a ‘first dance’ cake and toast and all the traditional trimmings but there will be no second ceremony for people who can’t make it to our destination wedding.

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