Post # 1
I just needed to vent this because it is driving me crazy! Anyway, my DH and I have been together for many, many years and I love him and he is amazing! But he has made a comment a few times that is really driving me crazy! Probably because I am 7 w 6d pregnant, but still!
Anyway, the story is this…I have VERY short hair…think Audrey Hepburn…it’s very feminine, but just short. I LOVE it…it is my “look” and I honestly get complimented on it all the time. (I don’t say that to sound conceited, I say that only so you will know that to most people, it honestly looks good.) Yesterday I got it trimmed and I sort of teased my DH that he hadn’t noticed it…he then proceeds to say “Oh yeah, it looks good…I really wish you’d grow your hair out though.”
*Insert record needle scratch*
Um, excuse me? This bugged me so bad that it brought tears to my eyes. I have very curly/wavy hair that gets bigger and bigger as it grows. Right now it’s so short it looks straight, but it’s very hard to manage long. I had long hair for about three minutes when we met (I was 17!) and then I grew it out for a short time when I was in college, but it is just not for me…I don’t like to fix it and it just doesn’t look good.
I’m sure I’m overreacting because, hello hormones, but this just really bugged me….ok, rant over!
Post # 3
*hugs* hang in there. I think they just say things without thinking. Sure it might be novelty to see you with long hair but if you don’t want to bother with the maintenance I don’t blame you at all! If you are happy with how you look, then that is all that matters. He knew you had short hair when he signed up to marry you. As hard as it might feel like it is, try not to let it bother you.
PS – yesterday my DH and I were talking about the tummy tuck and boob lift I’m planning for after having children. He made a comment about getting input on boob size and alluded to wanting them bigger. I told him I’m already wearing a 34D and if he needs bigger boobs than a D cup, then he married the wrong woman. He apologized profusely saying he realized his joke was insensitive. Sometimes they just don’t think.
Post # 4
my fiance always goes on about my hair- regulary tells me i look like a poodle when i havent straightened it. He wanted me to grow my hair long so i have been ( not for him really but i kind of wanted it long for the wedding) and once we are married i plan on chopping it off short again. not quite as short as yours but still short. i know he will hate it but i figured he isnt the one who has to wash and blow dry it every other day and spend hours styling it so it isnt frizzy and big.
Post # 5
Thanks, that makes me feel better….I love him, but jeez, can they be insensitive sometimes!
Post # 6
Yeah, I think he probably wasn’t thinking. That probably would have made me cry too. i think some men are just genetically conditioned to want to see long hair on their wives.
My hair is longish, like, coming up on the middle of my back. In February, I will have two children under 1, grabbing and pulling my hair. DH still wants me to grow it out longer.
Post # 7
I would just say to him “well I wish my husband had a 12 inch penis, but we can’t have everything we want!”
Post # 8
@tnbellebee: Hi. First off I am sorry he was insensitive to you. I just wanted to let you know that there is a lot of evidence that it is often out of mens control. If you look at evolutionary psychology there is a lot of evidence than men are hard wired to be attracted to women with long hair. This is because it signifies good health and fertility. Subconsciously men are hardwired to notice tiny details in women such as long hair, that indicate a good candidate for passing on genes with a good partner. A woman that is healthy enough to grow nice long hair is probably not sickly or vitamin deficient. It is a biological advantage for a male to pass on his genes to a female that is healthy enough to carry his offspring to term and beyond.
I know that there are a lot of men who like short haired women too and I am sure you look lovely. I also know that it is not relevant in our healthy societies. I just know there are a lot of studies that prove men are drawn to women with long hair and think it is more attractive and that this goes back to their inate caveman insticts to find the best woman to carry their baby.
Post # 9
I’m pregnant too so I’m probably not helping but that would really hurt my feelings too. I guess probably because it’s not something you can fix over night and honestly, being a girl is just so much work. 🙁
Post # 10
I say that to DH all.the.time.
“Being a girl is so much work.” It’s 100% true! He’s like shower, jeans off the floor, a t-shirt with no stains and he’s ready to go.
Post # 12
I had a pixie cut for a while, and while the reactions to the cut were mostly good from women and men both, the NEGATIVE reactions did come almost exclusively from men, who said they just liked long hair, NO MATTER if the woman in question actually looked better with short hair.
It’s silly, but I think it is a combination of genetics and society conditioning men to think that the sexiest women always have long hair and big boobs.
Two girls at my school got pixie cuts a few months after I did. Imitation is the best flattery? And yet, my Fiance still likes my hair better now that it is long. Sigh.
I like both long and short, but I must admit that a pixie cut well-maintained looked very good on me, and made me feel much more confident and outgoing in general. It felt good to do something that most women would be afraid to do. It also made me look more mature, which is important to me because I have a baby face and and very short – still often mistaken for a teenager with my long hair now!
The only reason I have longer hair now is that I like being able to style it different ways, and a pixie cut, while low maintainece, got boring after a couple years. Also, my hair grow ridiculously fast and don’t like having to get it trimmed so often! Especially when I had to pay full women’s hair styling prices for what is basically the same amount of work as a man’s cut!
Post # 13
@tnbellebee: ((HUGS!!)) I can really understand why that upset you.
But, for some unknown and very odd reason ALL MEN say such lame-brained things sometimes. I don’t want to out my darling, beloved, perfect DH so I won’t mention such things he’s said that make me just shake my head sometimes, lol.
But – try not to take it personally, realize that guys just don’t get it sometimes and I’m certain he didn’t mean anything bad by it, at all.
And since you’re feeling hormonal do something really nice for yourself today, like give into a chocolate craving or whatever makes you feel better. 🙂
Post # 15
This reminds me of my parents…my mom’s hair looks super cute short, she used to keep it long for my dad, but honestly it goes kind of frizzball crazy when she does that. Now she keeps it in a bob slightly below her chin, and he still gets all moody whenever she gets a trim. It drives me insane! She’s at the point where she just rolls her eyes and ignores it, although I usually let him know he’s being dumb and it’s not his hair. But sometimes she does get really upset about it, and then he feels bad (and rightly so, you’d think he’d learn after all these years!)
Does your husband know it upset you? I’d make sure he does so it doesn’t happen again.
Post # 16
My husband encouraged long hair recently, and leading up to the wedding I wanted to grow it out too so I did but after seeing me wash, attempt at untangle and waste at least 40 mins trying to blow dry it all he said I should cut it.
I’m planning on it anyway, because it takes me so long to style that I just end up wearing it in a bun of some sort but it was nice that he recognized how much work goes in to it!
Men can be clueless with their comments though! Don’t take it too seriously, he obviously loves you regardless!