(Closed) I’m I totally out of line?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I hate hotels. You couldn’t force me to stay in one if you tried (unless it’s an extended stay where I have to).

Dont take it personally. For some people a 3 hour drive is worth saving the x amount of money on hotel, babysitter, meals, tips, etc. And for others, they have different priorities.

Post # 4
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, I would be disappointed, too. I don’t really have any advice for you, though, sorry 🙁 

Post # 5
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

no i think id be pretty upset to.

i suppose the only bit of advice i could offer would be to speak to your girls and ask if theres anything going on? they might have something going on but dont want to worry you about it with everything you have going on in your life at the minute.

i dont think you need other people to help you validate your feelings – if you feel them, then they are real to you.

let them know how you are feeling, get a convo going with them about it and see where it goes.

best of luck.

Post # 6
Member
2202 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My two future sister in laws are awesome bridesmaids and my Maid/Matron of Honor and other bridesmaid are not. But i have come to terms with the fact that they are just in a different head space than i am. (both future sis in laws are married) I am sorry you feel disapointed. I hope that you can work through it and maybe if the oppertunity presents itself bring it up to your friends? or try and look at it from their point of view? Regardless i am possitive you will have a lovely wedding full of love and support and i would guess you will not notice that they leave a little early to drive home. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I can understand being disappointed/upset.  Weddings and all the events around it can be very emtional, people you thought would be there for you aren’t sometimes and that hurts.  You didn’t do anything crazy or lash out so I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong, I think you’re just feeling a little hurt and I would too.

Post # 8
Member
14440 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Maybe they are just uncomfortable sleeping anywhere but in the comfort of their own home.  If they are going to stay and celebrate the entire reception, why does it matter to you where they sleep after?  Im’ sure you’ll be much too preoccupied to worry about who has stayed the night or not.  Even if they ducked out early to make the drive home, I really doubt you’ll give it a second though and continue partying away with your new husband.

Post # 9
Member
9551 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to be a bit upset. At all. I think it would be unreasonable to make a big deal out of it. They are coming to the wedding and weekend. They just aren’t staying the night. They still love you, they just have other things going on in their life. It’s totally okay tot talk to them about this but I wouldn’t push it. Besides, there will be so many things going on your wedding day you probably won’t even notice if they slip out a little early. There will be a ton of people there to celebrate your relationship with your sweetie and I highly doubt you’ll feel like you don’t have friends. I hope they find a way to stay so they can party until the wee morning hours. But if they can’t swing it, give them a break. They’re not trying to be hurtful, probably just practicality. Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Are they not coming to the reception at all?  If they are, it’s not like they are going to spend the night with you… so if they want to go home, not a big deal. Could be a money issue or something.  Try not to let it get to you too much.

 

Post # 12
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@BluegrassBridetoBee:  Is the mother Bridesmaid or Best Man a new mother? As in, has someone under the age of 1?

Post # 13
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think you’re overreacting.  I would be really disappointed too.

Post # 14
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I think it’s natural for you to be disappointed. Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s anything you could (or even should) do about it.

Like PPs wrote, you probably won’t notice when they leave. I also don’t understand how people “don’t’ have a sitter” when they had months’ notice, but…

Post # 16
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t blame you for being upset, I would be disappointed too. I’m not sure what you can do about it though.

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