Post # 1
sorry bees this is long and emotional
we have had a very short engagment he proposed november 1st 2011 and the wedding is booked for september 16th 2012.
i am literally sat with mascara running down my face, i dont know if this wedding is going to happen anymore, things for the last few months have been horrible. when we started wedding planning we knew what sort of budget we had, we had some savings. so attended loads of wedding faires and booked lots of different people. we are signed into contracts with everyone.
my auntie died a few months ago and my dad struggled to pay for the funeral so we chipped in our savings as Fiance has a good job and we thought we could still afford the payments for the wedding. Now FI’s company has employed more workers he is having to fight for the same amount of work as before. his wage has halved and now we can barely afford our normal untilities, food and rent, nevermind our wedding.
we have spoken to the venue to try asking them to move the date and they have said no, we even asked if we could make payment plans after the wedding but they have also said no to that.
we thought we could save some money on the photographer by getting a cheaper woman to do it. however Fiance did not read the contract thoughly and we have to pay 70% of the original photographer fee and can not cancel the new one as signed a contract with her stating that we would pay full amount if cancelled. we have been so stupid.
there is now £2621.80 to be paid on the wedding but we also have £4260 worth of debt (overdrafts and credit cards)
i honestly dont know what to do aymore, Fiance and i are just arguing and there dosnt seem like there is going to be a wedding although it would cost the same to cancel as to go through with it!!
Post # 3
Do you work?
Can you get a second job?
Can your Fiance get a second job?
I.e. an evening and weekend job.
Is there anything you’ve bought for the wedding you can sell/downsize?
I’m really sorry this is happening.
Post # 4
Since it will cost the same whether or not you get married, you should first take a deep breath and realize that you have to pay the bills, and so they will be paid. Next, talk to your fiance and calmly work out a plan of how you will pay for everything. Can either of you get a second job? Can either of you tutor? I make a lot of money tutoring kids after school. Can you ask for help from his family?
You will be okay.
Post # 5
First of all…..breathe! secondly have you explained the reason to the venue? And ask if you could pick another date maybe off season? Maybe go in and speak with them about changing it to a later date?
Usually if you are honest and open with people they understand more. Can the guest list be cut at all? If not then break it down to just the necessary items…..no cocktail hour, just the meal, no open bars.
Is there anything else you can cut?
Post # 6
look into having a smaller wedding, with less people and maybe not do dinner but to like appitizers and dessert? no open bar
Can you or your Fiance pick up a part time job so you can have a little more coming in? Can you guys get any help from family?
Sorry you have to go through this, 🙁 good luck, you will find a way!
Post # 7
Ask for money from family and friends and pay them back over time in installments. You can even pay a little extra (like $100 or $200 as an extra special thank you).
Hold a garage sale and sell as much stuff you can. Even if you think that “heck! I wouldn’t buy this stuff!”, believe me, there are people out there who will. An extra $500 – $700 will go a long way.
Post # 8
Contact all of your vendors and explain the situation. Ask if they are willing to work with you. Caterers seem to be the most receptive and can switch from a meal to heavy appetizers, cut back your bar package to something manageable. See if you can reduce the photographers hours. Cut extras, like favors, fancy centerpieces (some nice votives on a glass mirror with rose petals would be nice, and cost a lot less!).
Like others have said, get a job/second job, see if your Fiance can get a second job, sell things, donate plasma, etc.
If you post the vendors you have and what you’re getting from them, maybe people can suggest ways to cut back.
Good luck, breathe, and know you’ll get through this!
Post # 9
we have an 18 month old so Fiance works 9-5 during the daytime then we switch and i work 7-11.30pm weekdays and all day saturdays so no chance of picking up more hours.
i have spoken again to the venue and have managed to change the meal options to something cheaper and cut the drinks bill down by £500. but thats all they will do to help she was very snarky when i explained the situation and not sympathetic. the telephone conversation left me feeling like a failure.
i have spoken to my grandmother (who im closes to) and she said she will think of something and we will get through it. i dread talking to my family about this we are not brilliantly close and my father openly does not like my Fiance.
im now looking to see if theres anything i can sell online to make some extra cash! im so worried this wont work out. it’s causing fights between me and Fiance. x
Post # 10
I’m so sorry. That is SO tough. I’m glad though that your grandmother is encouraging. But I am a firm believer that things always work out for the better. I have been laid off twice in my life and had some very dire times with money. Sometimes you just get through it by gritting your teeth and doing your very bbest. Lean on the people who will emotionally support you. That will make all the difference.
Post # 11
Could you do some work online?
Post # 12
I can really sympathise. Please don’t get upset.
Are the debts you’re paying off interest free? If not, there are things you can do to make the interest free. To help pay for things could you also sell a few things on ebay or otherwise to tide you over?
Is there anyone you could take a short term loan from until after the wedding?
May the etiquette Gods strike me down but, could you register for cash gifts that would help you pay off the wedding??
Post # 13
We went through somethng very similiar 1 month before our wedding. My best advice is
ASK FOR HELP!
Talk to family, friends, ask for loans. I know its not ideal but at this point if your vendors are unwilling to let you out of contracts, that might be your only option. Darling Husband and I also ended up taking out a loan that we paid out immediatly following the wedding.
Don’t freak out! Its going to be ok Promise
Post # 14
I would focus on the 2700 quid and give the credit cards a lower priority, although make sure you’re not risking any further overdrafts as you don’t need to rack up more debt right now. The credit cards will wait patiently for their money as long as you are paying off the minimums each month. Spend your energy and effort on the bill that is due for the wedding and can’t be extended.
So that is roughly 3 months to the wedding = 900 GBP each month above what you are already able to pay (less whatever the venue has arranged with you in terms of the menu changes)
You will not be able to bring in this kind of money selling plasma or odds-and-ends from your closet; with limited time and a large chunk of money to come up with, do not even bother with the things that only bring in 10 quid for a couple hours’ effort. You will end up exhausted and possibly still miss your mark.
Consider approaching your closest friends and family— whoever you feel most comfortable with— and explain the situation. Ask them if you could impose on them to take whatever gifts they’d planned to give you, and contribute that money to the venue instead. If you are this pressed to pay for the wedding then your friends’ generosity is a bit wasted on a new blender.
Take down your registry if you have one, and set up a paypal account to recieve cash gifts. There is no shame or rudeness in admitting that “Due to unexpected financial demands, we would like to ask guests who choose to give gifts, to do so in cash rather than material goods.” It is uncomfortable, of course, and you have to be very careful with your words, but I don’t think it breaks etiquette if you do it right.
Finally, consider a “fundraising party” for your hen night/stag night/shower. Basically your party organizer would come up with some games (usually gambling/casino games like blackjack). Each guest pays a “buy-in” fee, of which half goes to the winnings pot and half goes to your fund. The guests play cards all night, and at the end the best scores share the pot, and you are presented with the other half.
Now some of these ideas will not be comfortable to everyone, but if you are in a desparate situation, then you may need to step outside of what is comfortable. Just make sure you are very straightforward and honest about why you are doing these things, and I think it will work out better than you expect.
Post # 15
All of the above! Prioritize bills to be paid, and in the end, the situation will make you and Fiance stronger.
Post # 16
@penguinslovecrumpets: I totally feel you. I’m in the same situation so I can’t really help but you are not alone…