Post # 17
I mostly agree with FISHBONE. Selling your things is not worth it for 1 day. Side projects here and there will probably exhaust both of you in the end.
my advice would be instead calling the vendors, make an appointment face to face with them and explain your situation. Sometimes speaking to people on the phone might get lost in translation or you might be speaking to the wrong people who can actually address or make decisions on your situation. My advice would be to postpone the wedding/hold and see if they can change the date to a later time that would allow you to be able to pay them. I’ve read all my vendor contracts, and I know they are completely different companies but everyone pretty much has, If the date need to be moved…service can still be rendered if the new chose date is still available. I am pretty sure that all your invited guests will understand if you have to move the date. I am sorry that you can’t cancel.
It’s very unfortunate to be in this position, I definitely would have cancelled myself but those damn cancellation fees. I know friends that willingly put their weddings on credit cards and 5 yrs later they are still trying to pay it off. For one day in your situation, it’s not worth it.
Try to cut down on things like other people have suggested. Like having heavy appetizers only, but I think what will cut down the most is changing it from prime time to slow time like during the winter months and on a Friday or Sunday. Will cut down your guests but will also cut your money. Good luck. I wish there was a real solid solution.
Post # 18
I am sorry this is happening. First I would certainly sit down with your fiance and make sure you have a plan to keep paying minimums on credit cards and keeping the overdraft in cheque as much as possible. If you aren’t able to pay the rent, utilities, etc you are going to need to ask for help from someone outside of the two of you. Is your fiance looking for another job right now – are you able to do something like babysitting on a Sunday or do a daycare/babysitting in the daytime when you are home with your child? If you’re already home, you could put feelers out there to people in your neighbourhood and family/friends to see if they would be interested. And start a budget if you haven’t already. Track your spending for the last month or two and see where there might be any excess. Gently remind your fiance that you will have harder times than this possibly in the future and it’s all about working together to figure it out. It’s a future you’re building together, there will be arguments but you have to work together. 🙂
Secondly it seems like the venue isn’t budging too much for you. But is there a way you could change your date, not cancel it but move it to say a Friday night or Sunday? It might be cheaper.
In the short term, can you have a garage sale with items you don’t need or sell on Craigslist? Or after you and your Fiance have figured out the plan and what you’ll be able to afford before and after the wedding, is there a family member on his side or friend you may be able to talk to and take a loan from?
Is it possible to look at any other vendors you might have – a dj, florist, a decorator, cake, etc and ask them to get rid of or cut down on items? I.E. the amount of hours a DJ is there for from 4 to 2 or cut completely and do an iPod reception? If you have a cake arranged already, you may be able to ask for a smaller version for less money?
What do you still need to do for the wedding? Can you DIY flowers from a wholesale or grocery store the night before? Nix fancy centerpieces and lots of flowers and do a simple centerpiece and decor in the venue. Dollar store and thrift stores could be your best friend for this.
Can you cut your guest list? Cut plus ones from the list? Anything you have bought for the wedding that is a “want” and not a necessity? Can you return anything to a store for a refund?
I echo the sentiments of the PP’s probably by now, but do you have stag and does or buck and does where you’re from? That might be an idea to raise a little money to put towards paying for the wedding.
Post # 19
So you and your Fiance helped your dad pay for your aunts funeral which is a big part of whats gotten you into this pickle and yet your dad doesnt like your FI? So he doesnt mind taking $$ from him, but doesn’t like him…? Hmm…
Anyway, you should not feel like a failure, life happens, things come up. Regardless of what your vendors are telling you, you should verify it with what you have in writing. They can tell you anything they want verbally, but if it doesnt jive with the contract you’ve signed then it doesnt even matter. Best of luck to you, things will fall into place, they always do, just try to relax as much as possible, you should enjoy your wedding not be crazy stressed about it.
Post # 20
This amount isn’t impossible but any sum is hard if you haven’t got it. Thinking of stuff you can ebay or garage sale is a good start. Consider asking for money instead of presents (better than nothing). Talk to someone up the hierarchy at the venue etc – there’s no point dealing with people on the front desk. Tutoring is very easy – There’s good sites and it’s £20-25 an hour. Consider asking friends to join you in doing a bakesale – maybe at someone’s work? But chin up – you made one mistake for the best reasons. That doesn’t make you a failure.
Post # 21
I am having a REALLY hard time thinking that the vendors won’t move their date. Mostly because I do event planning and September is a ridiculously long way away for someone to say ‘no, I’m sorry, I’ve already aligned resources (people/equipment/product) to this and they can’t be changed.’ In fact, I don’t think I have ever experienced this. Yes, they want to be paid, but they also want your repeat business and REFERRALS.
You do have bargaining chips, you are not the victim here, you’re the client. Even though you have a signed contract they know word of mouth is the best marketing tool out there and it’s cost free.
So have a meeting face to face, give them your story (which is a really good one – you would have to be soulless to say no), and if you have to, at the tail end very simply say ‘well it’s a shame, I had hoped we would be working together long term. I mean, I know your business works on referrals and it stinks that I am no longer confident that you would be the best fit to recieve my personal and professional networks’ business. Thank you for your time.’ And then watch them squirm.
As for the financial, you have your priorities – your everyday living expenses. And I am not a huge fan of this but this is a dire situation. You can simply cancel your registry and do a honeymoon registry since it gives you cash. (ew, my ethics radar just started screaming!) Or like PP’s suggested, just level with your guests and let them know the sitch. I bet you 50% of them will go ‘oh honey, I got you!!’.
Good luck!! 🙂 *HUG*
Post # 22
I dont have any advice to really give, other then…hang in there. Im going thru the same things right now with my fiance. We actually have decided to move back home with ours parents for awhile. And we have lived together for 3 yrs. Its hard but I got laid off and he broke his leg (and his work requires standing)…he made great money and now we JUST got new jobs after 5 months. We really have no choice. Could you move in with friends or family?
Post # 23
I don’t usually think of this as an option, but a wedding loan seems like the way to go. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this.