(Closed) Im just not sure

posted 7 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 3
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

How old is the daughter?  A bigger question is … what does SHE want (the daughter)?  Does she want to be involved?  Have you and your Fiance talked it over with her?  Depending on her age, you both need to sit down and talk it over, and then discuss it with her.

Post # 5
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

7 is old enough to remember.  When my ex remarried, he didn’t invite our kids and to this day, they are still upset over it (felt excluded and not part of his new family).  I would really think long and hard on this one and definitely talk at length with your fiance to see how he feels and what he wants.

Me, personally – I cannot imagine getting married and not having my children involved … or at the very least, present to witness it.

Do you have children?  Will they be involved? 

Post # 7
Member
11343 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

My husband has four children (ages 11, 13, 23 and 25 at the time of the wedding) and a daughter-in-law.  We decided to include all five of them in our wedding party so that each could play an important role in our big day and the start of our new life.  Although, at times, I wished I could have included more than three girlfriends among my bridesmaids, having all of the kids in the wedding made the day much more special for all of us.  Friends, even close ones, sometimes come and go throughout our lives; however, family is forever.  It would be special right now for this little girl to be able to look forward to playing an important role in her father’s wedding.  Beyond that, I think it likely will be deeply meaningful for her when she is older to be able to look back and enjoy the memories (as well as the photos and videos) of your special day, knowing that she was an important part of the beginning of your new life together as a family.

Post # 8
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You should include her.  She will be your step daughter (SD) and she will certainly remember if you don’t.  I may be reading this wrong but I think you’re concerned that her mom will attend the wedding and somehow make your wedding day unpleasant for you.  You and your Fiance will politely make it clear to the ex that you want SD in the wedding and the two of you will take care of transportation etc.  Her paternal grandparents can assist during the actual wedding events if the ex is concerned about supervision.  In other words she is not invited! Explain to SD that you want her to be ____ in the wedding and there is a space for her at the reception and other wedding related events.  She’ll probably be very excited.  If her mom wants to be a problem and not allow her daughter to be involved because she herself cannot attend, let her mother be the one to explain to her that she is stopping her daughter from participating/attending her father’s wedding.  

 

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