Post # 1
Has anyone else heard this from their FMIL or BM, or anyone???
Here’s the back stories, briefly. Got engaged, it was a longgggggg time coming…FMIL did not call me to say congrats, so I called her like 4 days later saying “I’m so happy to be a part of the family.” When I saw her next (FI and I live in the same town as her) it was an hour into the visit when she finally asked to see the ring. Then she proclaimed, and has many times since, “I’m just not that into weddings.” Which I don’t believe, she’s a total girly girl.
Today, I’m trying to buck up a BM of mine who is depressed. I was giving her a pep talk and she mentioned, among many things, that she’s “sick of everyone and their weddings.” I was kind of hurt by this, but I agreed that it’s hard, and empathized about when I was there, and then asked if there was anything else I could do to help – and mentioned I already try not to bring wedding things up with her, bc I know it bothers her. (she asked me at my engagement party “UGH, can we not talk about the wedding for two seconds???”) She then cheerily responded “Oh, I don’t mind if you talk about it – I’m just not that into weddings – all the decorations and stuff.”
UHHHHHHHH WTF people. Just be honest, because I am NOT buying this “just not into weddings” line – I know SOME people are not into weddings, but these two people previously liked weddings fine, so there’s clearly something else going on, just tell me wtf it is!
Sorry, just needed to vent!
Post # 3
I would guess that your FMIL is worried/sad about losing her son, and your friend is worried/sad about losing you. Even if they won’t admit it to themselves. This is one of the reasons why weddings seem to bring out the worst in people I think. It’s not always very logical – obviously FMIL won’t lose her son, and obviously your friend won’t lose you. But it’s a transition for them. I’m sure they’ll get used to it. Just keep being your awesome self, be patient but don’t be a doormat and focus on people who will be excited to share your plans 🙂
Post # 4
People are funny about these things. I had posted stuff on facebook, (don’t anymore) about lookin for wedding stuff (centrepiece doodads etc) and wound up getting ‘bridezilla’ comments from otherwise sensible people. Don’t let it get to you.
Post # 5
It took my mom awhile to get into my wedding. She kept thinking about the wedding her son would never have because he had passed. It’s on hard on them
Post # 6
Try not to worry too much about them, and focus on the people who are “into” weddings! They might have other things going on in their lives that make it difficult for them to get excited at this point, and sometimes people are just wrapped up in their own little projects to get into your wedding. Unless they’re slacking on being good, caring people in your life otherwise, I wouldn’t read too much into it. Good luck!
Post # 7
Yeah, sometimes I feel like my entire family is like this… especially my mom. My mom has never directly said “I’m just not that into weddings.” What she says instead though is “Well, I don’t really know anything about weddings.” I just want to yell at her and say, “What, do you think I’m some kind of wedding expert? This is my first time planning a wedding (plus I’ve never been a bridesmaid either. I just put in some effort to learn what needs to be done to plan a wedding.”
Basically, since she’s not a “wedding expert”, my mom pretty much doesn’t offer to help with anything (even though she says she will help if asked). But then when I ask her for some very specific (small) wedding-related favors, and she looks at me like I have 2 heads. Ugh.
Ok, vent is over now!
Post # 8
I wasn’t at all into weddings until it was my turn to plan one. When my friends would talk about their planning, my eyes would glaze. Now I’m obsessed…
Post # 9
My sister was definitely not big into weddings. Hence the reason why my cousin was my maid of honor and my sister was a bridesmaid 🙂 I think the whole experience changed her mind in the end though, because last she told me she had found an old victorian house that does weddings that she was interested in… she isn’t engaged yet! Hahaha maybe I turned her into a wedding-obsesser too after all.
Post # 10
Sometimes it is a monetary issue. Perhaps your FMIL or BM are concerned about the money they will need to spend on the wedding. People get very touchy about money stuff.
Post # 11
Thanks for listening and commiserating hive! I do think that I am much more into weddings now that I am getting married. I guess I just wish I could get a genuine response from some folks – I’m pretty sure they don’t really mean “I’m not into weddings” and I have some guesses as to what they are really thinking/feeling…but I’m not sure how to broach that topic, or whether I even should.
For now I think I’m just gonna focus on the folks in my life who are super supportive and are UBER into weddings. Like you guys! 🙂
Post # 12
My mom told me yesterday that she HATES weddings. I reflected on it and what i think she meant was that weddings stress her out (and not just planning them, but going to them, finding a dress, socializing, etc.). I’m hoping she’ll come around and get into it once my wedding comes around.
And i have a few friends that are like that as well, but for me it’s mostly b/c weddings are a reminder to them that they haven’t settled down yet. Weddings can make single people feel VERY single. Best you can do is just be a good friend, and show them that things will not change between you when you get married. That you won’t turn into that married friend that she doesn’t see anymore.
And yes, also focus on those people that ARE supportive so you dont go insane 🙂
Post # 13