- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
Okay so I don’t want to make this super long, so I’m going to give you ladies the jist of it. 2 months beforehand my wedding my father had moved in with my husband and I because he was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
my father was never there for me growing up, when I was going through a hard time with my mom (my parents are divorced) and her boyfriend, who at the time was molesting me, my fathers exact words to me were,” if your mother kicks you out, where do you think your going to go? You can’t come here”. This is the type of person my father is.
When he was living with my husband and I we did everything for him, cook, get him water even if we were sleeping, my husband would run baths for him at 2:00 in the morning. I would be getting up 3-4 times a night to check on him(he had an oxygen line on). It got to the point bees that it was so much stress for us. We couldn’t go to wedding appointments together or spend any time together because someone had to be with my father all the time, he never wanted to be alone and not to mention it was 2 months before our wedding, and my dad had made the decision he wouldn’t be attending our wedding at all. throughout my dad staying with us I spoke to my sister and brother and asked that they each come a Saturday or a Sunday and spend the day with my father and just 1 day durning the week after work, so my husband and I could spend some time together and get some wedding stuff done.
Well that didnt go down so well with my sister, her reason for not doing that was because she has 3 kids and what’s her husband going to say if she’s spending all her time here. I couldn’t believe it. Before my father moved in with us the agreement was that we needed all the support we could get. Because if we didnt we wouldn’t be able to do it alone.
it came to the point where I sat my father down and told him, I couldn’t see him like this anymore and emotional I was broken. I told him that my husband and I weren’t getting the support from everybody and we aren’t able to continue alone. (my father was also very unappreciatactive that we took care of his every need)
my sister had come over a few days after this discussion I had with him and yelled and screamed at me in front of my nieces my brother his wife and my dad. They all had completey pitted against me because I couldn’t do it anymore. And my sister was mad because I had the discussion with my dad without her there. my husband said to my sister and brother because, at this point we were getting married in a few weeks and I was crying every night and lost a severe amount of weight from the stress, that my father had to leave ASAP. (My dad still had his own house, so it wasn’t like he had no where to go)
my dilemma is, is my sister recently reached out to me and said that she wants to move past everything that happened between us to build our friendship back up again. There’s a lot more things my sister did that I haven’t mentioned but ill spare you the details. My husband tells me to leave her alone, but for some reason I’m really struggling with this. She’s still my sister and I want to move past it, and forgive her, even if that means still not speaking to her, but I feel like I need a sense a peace for myself. What should I do bees? Should I respond to her message?