(Closed) I'm leaving him

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
7433 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Just leave wuth what you can carry. You can always buy more stuff somewhere down the road. Your physical and emotional safety come first.

Post # 33
213 posts
Helper bee

I am very proud of you. Please get the police to escort you when you get your belonings. Then it doesn’t matter if the neighbour sees/tells his mother/he comes home whilst you are doing it. The police will do this for you. Next step is a restraining order and a PO box address – and to not let anyone tell him where you have moved to – or he WILL turn up. I would also block his mobile/email address/facebook or get a new mobile number. He may threaten suicide or do all sorts of things, and be prepared for this – you can always call a mental health emergency group or the police on him if he does this.

Sending you hugs! You can do this. Life will be much better afterward I promise. I was in an abusive relationship with who I thought was my soulmate – I had to pack my things and leave whilst he was at work. I too thought I would never meet anyone again, but now I have met the love of my life and he doesn’t have an aggressive bone in his body. You will get your happily ever after – I promise x

Post # 34
26 posts
  • Wedding: June 2017

you are so strong and I am so proud of you for being able to share this with us. Telling someone is the first step and it is a very big one. I agree with the other bee that suggested calling the police and having them their. My fiance works in law enforcement and going to people’s houses where either person is trying to leave because of abuse is a normal thing for him. He just stands there to keep the peace and make sure nothing gets out of control. It might be too risky just having a friend and her husband there just in case he comes home. Your safety is the top priority! Best of luck to you, I wish you so much love and peace.

Post # 35
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: LA Athletic Club

You need to get out as soon as possible for your own safety. Have some friends help you pack your stuff and secure a safe place to stay. You can’t predict what he might do next so you should put yourself first. I can imagine it is incredible difficult for you to walk away but you deserve so much better than him.

Post # 36
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

rosecol0redglasses :  Remember the concert/game tickets do not have to be from you. They can come in the mail as a random Concert/game ticket winner.

Post # 37
1198 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Malibou Lake Mountain Club

rosecol0redglasses :  victims of crime and VAWA are wonderful advocates. You are so brave. 

I had an ex boyfriend like this; i literally left many of my belongings behind (i use to stay a lot at his place) and literally drove off. Therapy and medication (which he hated because i was “changing”) helped me loads to make that step.

Post # 38
1378 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base

Good for you on planning an “escape” from him.  It takes a strong woman as yourself to realize enough is enough.  Good luck to you Bee.  Sending positive thoughts your way.  

Post # 39
6502 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Good for you getting out. Good luck. I don’t have anything new to add. Just well wishes for everything to work out smoothly and quickly for you and your kids and that he has no idea what’s going on until you are safely out and away.

Post # 40
77 posts
Worker bee

I’m glad you’re leaving, he sounds horrific and abusive. You could request a police officer to help you pick up your items, it’s within their reach, and if he does anything to you or your processions, it’ll all be on record. Good luck.

Post # 41
230 posts
Helper bee

If you can afford it, get a private detective to monitor him after you leave.

If he has an iphone, you can install software on it to track his movements.

Post # 42
11119 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Call the DV hotline 800-799-7233.  They can refer you to local resources as well as help you formulate a safe exit plan.

Godspeed, sweetheart.  Please keep us updated as you can.

Post # 43
38 posts

rosecol0redglasses : Good news is there defiantly is love after heartbreak. 

Also what you are doing is fantastic and although you feel numb right now it will go.

Just hang in there and like you said do it in secret it sounds like a dangerous situation you are in so don’t be afraid to ask for help (counseling until you move on)

Good luck and please keep us posted.

Post # 44
8944 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

rosecol0redglasses :  You are so brave and so strong and you can do this. Well done on making the decision to get out. I will be sending positive vibes to you and hope you can get some help to get out safely.

Post # 45
3040 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Just also wanted to say I’m wishing all the best for you and your child during this time. I hope you’ll keep us updated especially once you’re out of there.

I’m not sure of your location. However, I would for sure look into having a police officer escort you if you think he may drop in on you leaving. 

It may also be wise after you are free and clear to consider counseling. Not just for yourself but for your child as well. Children absorb more than we think. So, it may do you both a lot of good to talk to someone in a safe/secure place.

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