Post # 47
@mwitter80: I 100% agree with your post.
@Gingersnap: I think taking a breather from the relationship for a few days is a good idea. Not breaking up, but just taking a step back to see what exactly you’re fighting about, and if it’s worth getting upset about.
You have a lot of other things going on right now without the added stress of getting upset over a smaller misunderstanding. Even going to couples counseling might benefit the two of you to help you understand your styles of communicating so that you can do it better. Communication is always key in any relationship succeeding, and it doesn’t sound like the two of you are communicating as well as you should be.
Post # 48
@KatNYC2011: In retrospect, it may have been a good idea to wait a little while after moving in together before getting engaged. We were definitely still in the “oh my god we actually live together now, happiness and unicorns and butterflies” stage of cohabiting when we got engaged. We are not getting married for 16 months, and we have no problems pushing the date further back if as we get closer we feel it’s not the right time yet. Since the plan for now is having a small DIY wedding, nothing needs to be booked/deposited/paid for so we can absolutely push it back as far as we need it to be.
Staying with each other is definitely not the same as living together. It is difficult but we are working on it.
Post # 49
@Gingersnap: Learning to communicate is really important. FI’s uncle is studying to do marriage and family counseling.
He gave us a book for Christmas called The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work:
I’ve started reading it and it is really good. The book is actually full of exercises for you to do with your Fiance to improve your communication and realize where you are lacking. It will also point out to you where you and your Fiance are strongly bonded. Not sure if he’d be open to something like that, but bot my Fiance and I are reading it and we will also be going to do pre-marriage counseling.
Post # 50
*hug* can’t add much to the messages previously posted but thought it’d be good to underline that you always have a hive full of people who are happy to listen to any vents/doubts/messages you want to share. Good luck in the coming days, I hope you work everything out for the better whichever outcome that may be!
Post # 51
No debating here I am 17 🙂 I never would have thought you were 19!
Post # 52
I’m sorry you’re going through so many difficult things at once and I hope it gets better soon! I don’t think you were overreacting about his broken promise, minor as it might have been, if this isn’t the first time it’s happened.
Darling Husband and I have gone through some difficulties with family/money/life etc. During these times, when I’m feeling overwhelmed by all of these issues, Darling Husband is my support, my rock. Of course we fight, but when one of us is going through crap with work or family, that is the time when we put aside our conflicts and support each other 100%. For me, being with Fiance has made it easier to get through difficult times, not harder. I’ve observed the same dynamic between my brother and his Fiance. I’m obviously not an expert, but it is a little worrying for me that while you’re having this terrible week, your Fiance seems to be just another difficulty rather than a source of support. I hope you guys can get to a point where you can help make each other’s lives easier, and when sh*t happens, you’re supporting each other rather than fighting all the time. It takes work, but it’s definitely possible to get to that point if you’re both committed to your relationship. Good luck!