(Closed) I'm lost

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

iwishtobeanonnie24:  The real issue is your fiance. How does he react to his mother? He should be shutting her down every time she talks trash about you. How does he handle her?

EDIT: Oh I misread, I thought you were already pregnant. If you’re not pregnant yet then my advice is: Do not have a child with this man UNLESS he sticks up for you 100% and you are 100% sure of him. (In fact I would say not until you’re married, too).

Post # 3
Member
3903 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Sit your man down and tell him how his mother makes u feel with the tinhs she says. And he should talk to her and shut her up and if he doesn’t you should talk to her and tell her off if necessary. You sound really young and scared…. stand up for yourself and your right to exist and not be harrassed for no reason!

Post # 4
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

She sounds like a wonderful person! (Much sarcasm). What are his thoughts on his mother? Does he ever stand up for you when she talks crap? I’m just trying to figure out why you’d be TTC with him if she has always been an issue? If I were you, I’d talk with him about her behaviour first, how it makes you feel, what you feel your options are etc.. Because other than providing a DNA test once the baby is born, it doesn’t sound like her behaviour is ever going to change. And even then, I wouldn’t hold my breath. It’s a tough situation to be in, but only you can really evaluate whether your husbands love outweighs her relentless smear campaign. 

Post # 5
Member
1146 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

iwishtobeanonnie24:  um that is absolutely beyond offensive and a man that loves and respects his woman would simply not accept that sort of talk about her….even from his mother. As others said the issue here is whether your fiance will shut this down or allow someone to completely malign your character unchecked. Does he give any acknowledgment to her claims? Would he actually demand a paternity test despite your stating it is his? If he allows people to drag your name through the mud AND doesn’t trust you then that’s even more alarming. Where is he in all of this? You definitely need to get this resolved before bringing a child into the mix….how horrible for him/her to have to hear his/her mother spoken about that way and Dad not doing anything about it.

Post # 7
Member
11525 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

iwishtobeanonnie24:  wow, she has zero class. Not sure I’d want to be getting deeper with this family, esp if you aren’t comfortable letting him stick up for you. Where does that leave you? 

Post # 8
Member
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. – Eleanor Roosevelt

You both need to set boundaries with her. If her behavor is unacceptable she is not welcome in your home and you both will not visit hers. Being around grandchildren is a priviledge, not a right. You will not stand to having her treat their mother or them in this manner. It sounds like you need to have a polite but firm talk, the two of you with her. If things don’t change it doesn’t sound like she will be missed

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