Post # 1
I’m not exactly new here , but I don’t really have anyone in my real life and I know how pathetic that sounds . My issue is my Fiancé’s mother has from the jump accused me of being promiscuous and sleeping around on him . Informing him I’m not good enough for him because my mother is a certain way that surely , I too will follow in her footsteps . At the moment I’m ttc and quite honestly I’m frightened she’s like a bug in his ear and I know she’ll tell him my child is not his , that makes me sick to my stomach and I’m not exactly sure if I want to tolerate this behavior from a woman who has never given me a chance. My question is … Should I cut my losses and give up the man I love or spend the rest of my life feeling completely worthless when I’m around her. Too be honest I could really use the advice
Post # 2
iwishtobeanonnie24: The real issue is your fiance. How does he react to his mother? He should be shutting her down every time she talks trash about you. How does he handle her?
EDIT: Oh I misread, I thought you were already pregnant. If you’re not pregnant yet then my advice is: Do not have a child with this man UNLESS he sticks up for you 100% and you are 100% sure of him. (In fact I would say not until you’re married, too).
Post # 3
Sit your man down and tell him how his mother makes u feel with the tinhs she says. And he should talk to her and shut her up and if he doesn’t you should talk to her and tell her off if necessary. You sound really young and scared…. stand up for yourself and your right to exist and not be harrassed for no reason!
Post # 4
She sounds like a wonderful person! (Much sarcasm). What are his thoughts on his mother? Does he ever stand up for you when she talks crap? I’m just trying to figure out why you’d be TTC with him if she has always been an issue? If I were you, I’d talk with him about her behaviour first, how it makes you feel, what you feel your options are etc.. Because other than providing a DNA test once the baby is born, it doesn’t sound like her behaviour is ever going to change. And even then, I wouldn’t hold my breath. It’s a tough situation to be in, but only you can really evaluate whether your husbands love outweighs her relentless smear campaign.
Post # 5
iwishtobeanonnie24: um that is absolutely beyond offensive and a man that loves and respects his woman would simply not accept that sort of talk about her….even from his mother. As others said the issue here is whether your fiance will shut this down or allow someone to completely malign your character unchecked. Does he give any acknowledgment to her claims? Would he actually demand a paternity test despite your stating it is his? If he allows people to drag your name through the mud AND doesn’t trust you then that’s even more alarming. Where is he in all of this? You definitely need to get this resolved before bringing a child into the mix….how horrible for him/her to have to hear his/her mother spoken about that way and Dad not doing anything about it.
Post # 6
Ok my fiancé has stood up for me in the past in fact he feels inclined to do so more than I want him to because then she spouts that I’m controlling of him and that he was a sweet boy prior to me . I honestly don’t want to put my fiancé in a spot where he feels like it’s either me or her but at this point that’s what its coming down to . I don’t feel I should have to subject myself or my future children to an eterniry with a person who says things like she does. For example I asked my fiance in a joke why he won’t go away and she had the audacity to say well if I kept my legs closed I wouldn’t have him, that his ex didn’t so he left me for her because guys lose their mind when they get a taste of their first piece. So yeah that’s what I’m dealing with its honestly difficult so I came here .
Post # 7
iwishtobeanonnie24: wow, she has zero class. Not sure I’d want to be getting deeper with this family, esp if you aren’t comfortable letting him stick up for you. Where does that leave you?
Post # 8
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. – Eleanor Roosevelt
You both need to set boundaries with her. If her behavor is unacceptable she is not welcome in your home and you both will not visit hers. Being around grandchildren is a priviledge, not a right. You will not stand to having her treat their mother or them in this manner. It sounds like you need to have a polite but firm talk, the two of you with her. If things don’t change it doesn’t sound like she will be missed