I'm married and I miss my ex-boyfriend.

posted 1 week ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Hostess
5928 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2019

jocelynevans :  I am not married yet but engaged and will be married next year. I can honestly say I  don’t miss any of my exes. Yes, some of them were hard to get over but I got over them and I look back and I am so grateful that we didn’t work out because otherwise I wouldn’t now be engaged to my Fiance who is honestly a million times better than any of my exes. So, no I can’t really say I do feel like that.

 

It sounds like maybe you didn’t give yourself enough time after your break up before rushing into getting married to someone else. I kind of feel a bit sorry for your husband to be honest. Sorry if that sounds harsh. 

Post # 3
Member
6491 posts
Bee Keeper

jocelynevans :  

Yes, l still thought nostalgically about  my cheating sexy bad-boy first husband into my second marriage , a man l married because he was kind and moral and the opposite of my first.  It was wrong of me to have married him frankly, and the marriage lasted about ten minutes .

Don’ t do it, shut it down if your husband really is the love of your life . Don’t romanticise the bf. 

Post # 4
Member
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

I don’t miss any of my exes. Not even a little.

Post # 5
Member
280 posts
Helper bee

happyroo :  Girl, SAME.

My Fiance is the bomb.com and my exes are hot garbage next to him…well maybe that is a *bit* of an exaggeration. I am friends with one of my exes from high school and he is not garbage, but I also don’t miss him or miss being with him.

Post # 6
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

It sounds like maybe you miss either the idea of you, or maybe what you did together with the blog, not actually him? Could that be the case?

Post # 7
Member
4592 posts
Honey bee

Are you sure you miss your ex (who dumped you for another woman, which would not endear a man to me) or do you miss the fantasy of what you wanted to have with your ex? 

It sounds as if you have found someone who cares for you–don’t throw that away over someone who didn’t want to be with you. Have you considered therapy?

ETA: ladyvk–typing at the same time…OP, there’s something to this. 

Post # 8
Member
1195 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

jocelynevans :  I think it’s normal and fine as long as you’re not actually pining for your ex. I was married previously and now am in a happy partnership, pregnant and planning a wedding. But I certainly miss my ex at times, and I know my partner misses his ex-wife’s friendship too. They were in our lives for 15 and 20 years respectively and were our best friends and life partners. We can still think back fondly on some of those times and even wish we still had those friendships now, while also being soooooo glad that things worked out the way they did. Those marriages ended for very good reasons, and ours is way way better! Your relationship with your ex ended for a reason too… he was the kind of guy who would ditch you for another woman. Not marriage material!

Post # 9
Member
2461 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

 Well the problem isn’t that you still have some feelings for an ex, that’s normal and you have to learn how to live without him, the problem is that you don’t seem to be in love with your husband, at all. I agree with PP that you married too quickly. Sorry to hear.

Post # 10
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2018

I think it is possilbe to love two people at once, and still be faithful to your chosen partner. However, i would suggest being honest with your husband about these thoughts and feelings. He has a right to know that they are there.

Post # 11
Member
578 posts
Busy bee

No. Because my husband is so much better than my exes in so many ways and I made sure I was over my exes before I started dating him to avoid exactly this kind of thing. 

Post # 12
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

My husband was my first relationship, so I can’t speak to that. However, I will say that if I found out my husband was still thinking about and/or pining for an ex (I don’t think he is, but hypothetically), I would be extremely hurt and would reconsider my entire relationship. Just something to consider. I don’t feel it’s fair for you to hold on to a past partner now that you’re married. Try and think about your husband and how this would make him feel – it might help you to put aside your past and move on.

Post # 13
Member
5720 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

jocelynevans :  How long was it in between dating your ex and starting to date your husband?

I’ve been with my husband for 7 years, married for 2, and while my ex still occassionally pops into my head, I definitely don’t miss him. 

Post # 14
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee

No. All but like one of my exes were left in the past as bad memories. The past where they were and still are assholes. And nothing will change my view of them. But… thats just me.

They were a learning experience nonetheless of what I SHOULD NOT look for in man. 

Post # 15
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee

My exes still sometimes pop into my thoughts and I wonder how they are and what their lives are like now… do I miss them? Nope. I have a better relationship with my SO than any of my previous relationships. Do I miss worrying about being cheated on? Being lied to? Feeling like I’m not good enough? Sure dont! Why do you?

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