(Closed) I’m married and now I’m being treated differently…

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1981 posts
Buzzing bee

I’d give yourself more time and try writing letters (that you never send–burn them) to your mom about it. Talking about it more is going to make you more confident when you get the courage to talk to her about this and put it all behind you.

Good luck!

Post # 5
2286 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

(((HUGS))) Sorry you’re going through this. It sounds hard. Other than that, I’m not sure what to say. It sounds like the pains of growing up for both of you.

Post # 6
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Oh hun! Ive always walked on egg shells with my mom too. Sometimes it feels as though she hates me when I know its the exact opposite. You and your mother both need time to adjust. Not apologizing doesnt mean your a bad person or your cowardly. It means you believe in what you stand for so strong that your not  going to budge. And if your not budging then obviously this is very important to you, so your not doing anything out of spite.

Im sure your mother knows why you did things the way you did. As a mother myself we think our children need us forever. We think there will always been somethng to teach them. Then when we do such a good job at raising them and they turn into the woman we always dreamed of being ourselves we feel left in the dark. My child isnt no where near grown yet but Im dreading and so excited for the day I let him go.

Just keep small talking with your mom. Shes kinda grieving right now if you know what I mean. And your just realizing your potential as your adult self. Both of your circumstances and leave salt in the wound. Let her know in some way you still need her. Like asking for her oppinion on shoes πŸ˜‰ She just wants to feel needed from her all grown up little girl. Good luck girly!

Post # 8
9 posts
  • Wedding: June 2010

Hang in there fabulouslyannonymous. I feel like each month that goes by until my wedding leads into another transition phase with my mother. I also have that walk on eggshells feeling (want to please and be approved of by my mother). I know she loves me very much but it has been very hard and sometimes hurtful during my wedding process. It was just last month that she finally seemed excited and wanted to assist me in the planning process (and were only 4 months away from my wedding!:) I am the oldest child though and I think for my mother (and my littl sister actually) it is grieving like (Kare7213 said) that things are changing in your life and even though Ive lived on my own for 5 years now I am no longer a baby but an adult and things will be a little bit different. However, I know how you feel because I have felt very alone (other than my Maid/Matron of Honor and fiance) with the wedding planning which really has hurt. I did give her a few months to just process and I told her that she was “missing it all” and that I wanted and needed her help with the wedding and I think that has helped. 

Good luck and hang in there! 

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