- 5 years ago
This is long, and has been going on for about 6 months now. I’ll try to keep it brief. I need some help…
The bride and I used to be best friends in elementary school, she got different ‘party’ friends in middle and high school and we drifted apart. I haven’t seen her in 10 years, other than Facebook; not chatting just liking/seeing each others posts. Last I knew she got a job as nurse, and I was busy with my own things.
I got a call from my mom asking if an old friend can call me (as in, mom give her my number) I said sure, didn’t think to ask who it was. It was the bride, who I didn’t even know was getting married let alone with anyone enough to be engaged. She was over the moon and so excited, asked for me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor since I’m her oldest friend. I told her I was flattered. I asked when the wedding was, and she said it’s March. I’m pregnant and due in early/mid February, and told her my fears and worries. I don’t have a lot of family in the area to help me out, and I’m a very anxious/easily stressed person.
She said it’s fine, “we like babies!” and her sister will have a little one too, then, a year old kiddo. I said, Well, thank you but a month old baby for a first time mom is different than a year old child for a mom with 4 kids… She assured me it would be fine. I told her I’d like to think about it. She said, No need,we want you there!! I said, Please, let me think about it. She called and texted all day (about 15 times a work day and more before and after work) about how I need to accept and it’ll only be a perfect wedding day with me as Maid/Matron of Honor.
I wanted to sit and chat, but she kept saying she was too busy to meet, but can call. So I called her again and just said, I’m sorry I don’t think I can. I’m too worried about leaving a month old with no help and needing to be there for her as well. She cried saying I needed to. I said I wasn’t comfortable. This went on for 25 minutes. She kept crying, and I felt so bad. I asked what I can do… She said be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I said I can’t. She said I was her oldest friend, I HAD to. I said Let me think about it.
She came to my house, we chatted, then she got down to business. Said I HAD to. I said You know what, fine, but I can only be there for the ceremony, so I’d like to pass Maid/Matron of Honor to someone else, and I’ll be there for you as bridesmaid. She said NO, it needs to be Maid/Matron of Honor. I said well sorry, but that’s my offer…
She said fine. Then a month later, I got told the dress was going to be $900. I said what!! I didn’t even know they went dress shopping! Turns out the other girls picked it. Already ordered. I said that’s a bit steep for just before the holidays and baby coming… She said, sorry!! It’s what it is!
So I met with her and said NO, I’m sorry I CAN’T. I’m not even involved in the processes, so why the title of MOH?? She kept crying and saying I HAD to. She’d pay for the dress then. I said Well, no that’s not really what I meant. She said no final offer, I’ll pay for the dress. This was in October. I’ve been texting and chatting, but she never replied.
Fast forward to yesterday, I get a text. She will be dropping off the dress today. Okay, cool. She said noon. Noon comes and goes, she goes, “Oh, sorry!! How about 4!” Sure. And you see the pattern… Well it’s almost 9pm right now and I get a text, “Sorry, we couldn’t make it!! We will be by tomorrow!!” I waited all day… ALL day…
Only to find on Facebook as I crawl into bed she was having a date night with her fiancee. That’s fine but… Why didn’t she just tell me.
So what do I do?? Dress is here (well, in her car) and paid for, she’s kind of emotional, and can’t chake the idea of me NOT being Maid/Matron of Honor… I’m still not feeling well about this.
TL/DR: Girl I knew in elementary school suddenly comes into my llife again begging for me to be Maid/Matron of Honor not matter the cost or time ($900 dress and I’m pregnant and due a month before the wedding). What do I do?