(Closed) I'm MOH and I want out…

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

You need to run as far away as possible from this insanity. 

Post # 17
Member
4775 posts
Honey bee

 Learn to say no. Learn to deal with whining and crying. Stand in front of a mirror and practice it if you have to.  Consider it practice for your impending kid. 

Sure, she may be crazy,  but you were also also a pushover who let her walk all over you.  Start standing up for yourself and drop out. 

Post # 18
Member
3654 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

Back out and back out now. While she covered the $900 dress (…) she isn’t likely to cover the equally expensive bachelorette party, bridal showers, shoes, etc. She harassed you into being her Maid/Matron of Honor. I would never want to have to badger someone to be a part of my wedding and she should have taken the hint.

Even if it means paying her back for the dress if she can’t return it, you’ll still be spending less than you likely would if you stayed in this wedding. She’s been out of your life for years, it’s probably best it stays that way based on her crazy behavior.

Post # 19
Member
13647 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Do you even know that your pediatrician wants the baby to in a public place at that age? There is no way I would have agreed to bring a one month old baby who is vulnerable to infection into a crowd scene like a wedding. 

Also no way would I have agreed to leave a one month old baby to attend a wedding of someone I haven’t spoken to in years. Not all new moms are capable of pumping or supplementing this early on. 

Are you local to this wedding? Could H watch the baby for a couple of hours? Your only recourse at this point would be to firmly limit her expectations. Tell her that you will not be able to bring the baby and will not attend the reception. 

You will try to attend the ceremony if at all possible, but if even that that becomes impossible you will agree to return or sell the dress. 

I would only agree to this much if it’s local and if you are able to get ready on your own, at home. No added time “getting ready” etc. 

What I would really do? Back out and give her back the $900. With proof it really cost her that much. Consider it a very expensive lesson.

 

Post # 20
Member
1992 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
fluffthoughts :  What do you do? Tell her to fuck off.

She’s a stranger making hideous demands on your time, your energy and your money. You truly don’t know this bitch from Adam and you have absolutely nothing to lose by burning this bridge. Text her to keep the dress because you won’t be in her wedding, block her number and go get a massage. 

Post # 21
Member
6216 posts
Bee Keeper

Everyone else already said it. They bought the dress without you. No! 

That said, what on earth does s $900 bridesmaids dress look look like?! 

Post # 22
Member
6216 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
Speck_ :  Yes, this especially the massage. You deserve it! The massage that is.

Post # 23
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Painswick Church and the Falcon Hotel

She sounds like a weirdo! But you did agree in the end so have to go along with it now 

Post # 24
Member
7229 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

This chick sounds like a total wackjob. You told her no several times. Just because she decided to ignore it doesn’t change what you said. I’m not sure what I would do in your position at this point because I would have stopped answering her calls after the first time I told her no.

You are not going to feel like doing anything extra a month after your baby comes, especially for someone you already didn’t want to be dealing with. 

Post # 25
Member
1295 posts
Bumble bee

Tell her you can’t do it, and then secretly record this conversation somehow and post it here.  

Oh wait.. that would be wrong… :/

Post # 26
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

View original reply
fluffthoughts :  how does she even know this dress is going to fit you?!? That is seriously all I can think about. Unaltered dresses are usually returnable, and if not she can force someone else into it. I ended up Maid/Matron of Honor in my cousin’s wedding in much the same way and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. My dad was in the Navy and I never lived within 500 miles of her. So I saw her on holidays. Everything was done without me including ordering my dress, which didn’t even come close to fitting and the way it was made it couldn’t be altered much. Put your foot down now so you don’t end up dealing with her crazy during the wedding. If she’s that crazy now, just imagine how she’s going to be the day of the wedding!!!

Post # 27
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

It’s your first baby so it’s likely it could come late, so the baby might be even less than a month old. It could be two weeks old! 

Post # 28
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
fluffthoughts :  She purchased a $900 bridesmaid dress not knowing what size you’ll actually be after you have your baby/at the time of your wedding? Wow!

You sound like you were trying to be diplomatic but it backfired on you. So sorry!

Post # 29
Member
2599 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
fluffthoughts :  When she comes to drop off the dress open the door a crack, tell her you can’t do this, shut and lock the door. Block her number. You don’t have to do this. This lady is crazy. I agree with many other PPs. You’ve let this go on too long without having a backbone.

Can DH be at the house with you today when you say you’re out? Maybe he can give you strength or tell off this crazy bridezilla 

Post # 30
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Tell her that your doctor said your baby cannot attend a public event or that it will just be impossible for health reasons.  Say you’re really sorry and that you wanted to join, but unfortunately you can’t. And put your foot down.    I’m sure she can find another Maid/Matron of Honor that knows her just as little as you do.  It’s not like your losing a friend.  Then, get that massage people have been talking about and put her out of your mind.  The stress this is causing is not ideal for your pregnancy, I would imagine. 

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