(Closed) I'm nervous about getting engaged, or rather nervous about how family will react

posted 6 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper

 I do mean this in the best way and only you know what is best for your life, but 10 months is not very long. Given your past your family will most likely have concerns.

You say you are not that young. Well, if you are old enough and mature enough to get ready then you are old enough and mature enough to stand by it. You also say you are nervous. There really is not hurry. If you have reservations then wait. A great guy will still be there in a year, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years…

Post # 3
1992 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
redheadeddiva:  Your last relationship happened/ended sometime in the last two years, you suffered through a nasty months-long breakup, and you’ve been with your current SO for a total of ten months. This all happened incredibly fast.

I think you should chill out on an engagement and enjoy your relationship as it is at least until the 18 month mark. If things are “perfect” now you’re still deep in the honeymoon phase and should give it more time. You’ve got rose-colored glasses welded to your face right now. Unless he’s got an expiring green card or you want to be married and pregnant tomorrow, I don’t see a reason to go in head first so soon.

Post # 4
100 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly, I feel that you’re rushing. If it’s truly perfect & if he’s going to be there for the long haul then what’s so hard about waiting a little longer. I think 10months is a short time to be with someone and plan out a life given your said history. 

I am truly happy for you to have found somebody who treats you as you deserve but dont focus on the next step so much that you don’t enjoy fully where you are now. After a nasty break up & what you’ve gone through it would seem best to take your time. But I wish you the very best in your decision. 

Post # 5
111 posts
Blushing bee

I echo a few thoughts above: it was great that you decided after all that horror to work on your own goals, and I’m happy for you that you’ve found a chance at that long-term happiness again. The situations you were in are sometimes things that some people never get over, or move on from.

From the outside, 10 months is a short time but by itself that doesn’t have to be a big issue. Many people have that anecdotal story about friends or family members marrying after a short period of time, and have been together happily for decades.

I think the issue is more that you worry about people you care about (your family) thinking it is a short amount of time. Does it worry you that getting engaged so soon would worry them? Do you think you could justify it to them, or accept that they will worry, or wait a while longer before you get engaged?

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