(Closed) I'm never in the mood anymore

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee

railroaderwifeyxo :  it’s normal. i used to have a high sex drive, probably because we were newly dating. been together for over 3 yrs now, and between him traveling for work, it’s about 3-4x a month. Obviously a lot more when we were TTC. 

Post # 3
Member
2495 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it’s pretty normal for your sex drive to fluctuate a bit since it’s dependent on SO many biological/emotional/mental factors.

I tend to give myself a pass for up to a few weeks. If I consistently don’t want sex past a few weeks, I start examining the health of the relationship, my mindset toward it (if I’m holding in resentments, etc), any dietary/sleeping/work changes, etc, so see if something like that is the culprit. 

Post # 4
Member
929 posts
Busy bee

My first thought is birth control. Are you on any? Sometimes the horomes in those severely diminish any sex drive.

Post # 6
Member
4910 posts
Honey bee

railroaderwifeyxo :  Did you change your birth control? Talk to your doctor because some bc have harsher side effects than others. IMO stay away from depo provera with a ten foot pile. 

Post # 7
Member
4910 posts
Honey bee

railroaderwifeyxo :  still a good thing to think about. I was fine until second year on my bc and I had to change it. 

Post # 8
Member
929 posts
Busy bee

railroaderwifeyxo :  Hormones can fluctuate all the time. If it continues and becomes an issue, I would def speak with your ob about it.

Post # 9
Member
593 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t think much of it. I noticed that I go in cycles of not wanting it at all to wanting to jump his bones all the time. I think it’s natural and can be caused due to so many factors, you might get stressed out even trying to find yours. Give yourself a break and don’t overthink it. You can express to your partner that you haven’t been feeling like sexy time lately, maybe you could tell him that you’re only up for a quickie when you don’t feel like it. I think it’s all fine.

Post # 10
Member
945 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s normal, probably just your hormones or you’ve been stressed. If you are still physically attracted to him and it’s just your sex drive acting up it could just be temporary.

Post # 12
Member
5113 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

railroaderwifeyxo :  I think that as long as you’re still intimate in other ways that it’s not necessarily indicative of a problem. Are you shying away from cuddling/kissing/hugging too? If not, I think it’s probably just normal fluctuations. 

Post # 14
Member
9130 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

railroaderwifeyxo :  Curious, have you been in a relationship for this long with someone before?  After a while, sexual desire does just fade a bit.  All those jokes about getting married and never having sex again exist for a reason.

My advice would be to just keep doing it most of the time even if you don’t feel super in the mood… ask your hubby to get you in the mood 😉  Sex and physical intimacy is definitely one of those “if you don’t use it, you lose it” things, which sucks for everyone.

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