- 3 years ago
- Wedding: City, State
Hi there. I’m new here, but I’ve been lurking since I got my ring. I just got engaged about a month ago to an amazing guy. Everything was perfect, and I felt on top of things already having a secret Pinterest board for this exact moment.
I’ve never seen myself as the Bridezilla type. I’m very laid back. My family was very poor when I was growing up, so I’ve learned how to do without and not make a fuss about it. I was hopeful that this trait would carry over to my wedding planning, as my fiancé and I are basically paying for the entire thing ourselves. We don’t have a lot of savings due to, well, life. I literally had to drop $2,000 right after getting engaged to have my wisdom teeth surgically removed.
So in addition to budget issues, we are having one major issue: picking a wedding date.
I’ve always wanted my wedding date to mean something. Have some sort of significance. Not just be a random Saturday we picked from a hat. Since we don’t have a dream venue or many out of town guests, I didn’t think the date would be a problem. It would be simple. We would get married on the anniversary of our first date: May 12th.
Turns out, May 12th IS on a Saturday this year. Convenient, right? Yeah, too bad our budget is waaay too tight for a 5-month-long engagement.
So we start entertaining the idea of a Sunday wedding next year. It could work. Maybe we could even get an awesome discount with it being an uncommon day. OOPS. It’s Mother’s Day.
At first I thought, well geez, our mothers certainly wouldn’t mind, and I don’t care to share my anniversary with a holiday once every seven years… and then came the negative feedback. So many people have told me that I’ll end up offending someone, or have some people not show up because they aren’t willing to give up their holiday, blah blah blah. And now my fiancé has given up on May 12th.
I’m still holding on to it.
Apparently this is my unexpected Bridezilla moment. I would LITERALLY just elope on May 12th and say screw everyone else aside from very close family and friends (about 15 people total, as opposed to our 140+ guest list.) I tried to swing the idea past the fiancé, and he joked that eloping on the beach would still be cheaper than feeding all those people. But after talking about it seriously, he has decided he would rather have a traditional wedding ceremony and reception.
But…… I want my flippin’ day.
It sounds so silly, but I have been SO lenient on every other detail. This is the one thing that I want, and it feels like everyone is against me. My fiancé is sympathetic and feels horrible that I’m so upset, but he doesn’t have a solution for me. I don’t have a solution. Not one that isn’t going to tick a lot of people off, anyway.
Is it SO wrong that I want our day to be about US, and not anyone else? The only other opinions I care about are that of close family and friends. But his second cousin’s wife? I don’t give a hoot if she has a problem with my wedding date. If they don’t come to my wedding, that’s one less person I have to feed.
Clearly I am very bitter about this right now, so I apologize for seeming harsh. I’ve lost a lot of tears and sleep this weekend, and to be honest, I’m starting to resent the idea of having a wedding at all. Did this happen to anyone else? Is it a common ailment like “wedding planning blues” or something?
Any advice, input, or shared stories will help. I already feel better just having it typed out.