(Closed) I’m new, and I’m stressed.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee

I’m kind of shocked that people would get too upset about having to spend ONE Mother’s Day at a wedding. I guess if they don’t like it, they don’t have to attend? And you could possibly say something at your wedding about mothers and all they do, etc.? 

Post # 3
Member
322 posts
Helper bee

IDK what would be a better way to spend a mother’s day then going and getting free food and potentially having the excuse to leave the little ones with a sitter. 

Though maybe I over value free food? 

I say let people be upset and do what you want. It’s an important day you’ll be celebrating for the rest of your life–it’ll be one mother’s day in many for these people. Let them be mad. 

 

Lastly, have you offended anyone? Your post says people are saying people will get offended–but has anyone been offended yet? 

Post # 4
Member
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I don’t at all see a problem with getting married on mother’s day. I would try to talk to your fiancé about who the important people are and whether they’re bothered by the date (which it seems they arent). For thé rest, you can invite them and if they choose not to come it’s their problem, not yours.

Post # 5
Member
890 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
leesahmarie :  calm down, take a deep breath, and chill for few days without talking about wedding. It kept me same, i think you’ll probably benefit from that too. I was heading towards bridezilla zone, but i was asked something like this: what does the wedding mean to us? My answer is.. a day when we profess our vows to each other in front of God and close friends and family. A change of phase leading into marriage. The ultimate aim to start the marriage right. Then I realise everything else is fluff.

I personally wouldn’t want my wedding anniversary to be on mother’s day, because i prefer two celebrations instead of one 😅 i hope at some point we’ll have children so I’ll celebrate mother’s day as a mother. And celebrating wedding anniversary with just my husband rather than with everyone. I just like celebrations. Period. Hehe.

Is there any special date other than your first date anniversary? How about engagement anniversary? Or first kiss? We both know our wedding wouldn’t be 2018 though he proposed in 2017 because it is expensive even after deciding not to have a sit-down reception because we have to factor in flights, accommodation, honeymoon, etc etc. We save up for 2019! And the date we chose somehow mysteriously aligned to our first date anniversary, the auspicious date for wedding in Chinese calendar and yeah.. a Saturday. But that was after multiple rounds of discussions with multiple individuals. Mainly the fiancé. And with families.

All the best in planning! Have a good journey to enter into marriage xx

Post # 6
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I thought our wedding date would be nice on our anniversary also but that wasn’t an option with our venue and us wanting to get married in the summer. We got engaged July 2017 while we were watching the fireworks! Our anniversary is on July 6th but we’ve been combining it with our favorite local fireworks that are always the Sunday after the 4th of July. 

We ended up booking our wedding for June 24th 2018. While it is not early July it is close and we will still have that same early summer feeling. I would be a little more open, to a spring wedding.

And you can always celebrate you original anniversary and your wedding anniversary. Also you can’t really plan a date until you find a venue or decide if your eloping. Sometimes you just have to be a little more flexible. I think wedding dates are just one of those things! I was lucky to even get a date in the summer and settled for a Sunday. 

Post # 7
Member
4103 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’m sorry you’re having such a stressful time. I understand you want your wedding day to have a special meaning..but any day you choose is going to have a special meaning because it’s your wedding day! I personally don’t see a problem with having a wedding on Mothers Day, but that’s probably because it isn’t some huge to-do in my family. If you can’t make it work, don’t feel like you’re sacrificing by choosing a random day. After all, May 12th was just some random day before you gave it meaning. 

Post # 8
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

A big social event on Mother’s Day could be difficult for guests who have complicated relationships with their mothers or who have lost their mothers (or who have lost children – thinking of one friend who really struggles with that day every year). If you’re stuck on it, go for it… but expect some no’s. If this stress were me causing me to cry for hours, I would just elope on 5/12/18. It’s not worth all this anguish for a date, either elope or have the big wedding, it’s not the last party you’ll ever plan in your life.

Post # 9
Member
3837 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

It’s fine to keep the day you want as long as you accept that some people ARE going to decline the invitation. They may not even decline because it’s mother’s day, they may decline because it’s on a Sunday. You’re never going to be able to find the perfect day for everyone and you’ll just stress yourself out trying.

Although like PP said, whatever date you pick will become special because it will be your wedding date, just like the 12th became special to you. I picked a random day, and now that day has great meaning all on its own and it didn’t have to piggy back on another day to be special.

Post # 10
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Also I forgot to mention I don’t think it would be a big deal sharing your anniversary with mother’s day once every seven years. So if the women in your life and your fiancés life that you are both closest to don’t mind sharing your big day I don’t think it would ever affect them again! So as long as your future venue has the date it may still be an option! 

Post # 11
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Why can’t you pick another special day to you and your FI? Your only specification was that it had to mean something to the both of you, certainly there are other dates with special meaning to you. It’s not like you’ve dreamed of a May 12 wedding your entire life. This issue could be a good thing- a different date may not require a 17 month engagement. In regards to a wedding on Mother’s Day…I’m probably biased because I absolutely hate weddings on holidays, but you definitely will have a lot of people who can’t/won’t come, both for the fact that it’s a day people want to spend with their moms (what if their mom isn’t on the guest list?) and that it’s a Sunday (less of a concern, because my reception is on a Sunday). 

Long story short, if you want your wedding day to be about you, then either convince your Fiance to elope or Don’t plan it on a day that’s already dedicated to millions of other people in the world. 

Post # 12
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee

Do it on Mother’s Day! And if some guests kick a fuss or decline to come, just accept it and move on. Don’t even ask for their opinions 😜

Post # 13
Member
2412 posts
Buzzing bee

A word from the OLD BAG. Planning your joy/devastation on a calendar date can be a waste of time, energy, and emotion.

In my house, Groundhog’s Day is a special, important date, full of love and remembrance. Sometimes we celebrate with wild abandon, sometimes Life encroaches and we don’t get to celebrate at all.

Still, our marriage and our love survive.

so- marry on the 12th but celebrate on another date

OR choose another lovely, solemn, joyful important date (you KNOW that 2 people who dearly love each other have more than one special day) and marry THAT day and keep May 12 as YOUR OWN private special day

OR create some novel beautiful reason for making the date of your wedding especially lovely An day magical

OR disregard any naysayers and forge ahead and rise above any negative comments and get married on your originally chosen date 

OR-    can you see where I’m going with this?  Life has a terribly unfortunate way of not behaving according to your rules or anyone else’s. The more resilient you can be at the outset, the better life often turns out.

If you are bitter and miserable, and you are making your DFI sad because he can’t come up with the solution you want, can you and he together come up with a plan that will make you both happy with what will hopefully be one of the happiest days of your life?

Hoping you can, and that everything then falls happily and lovingly into place!

Post # 14
Member
10306 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Mother’s Day isn’t a big deal to me, but my mother has been dead over a decade and my kid isn’t born yet. We do go out for lunch with my Grandma and Step Mother But that’s about it. 

If you want to do it Mother’s Day, do it Mother’s Day. As long as you’re cool with people declining who cares?

FWIW, we picked a number of significance and then found the months that number fell on a Saturday. We knew we wanted to get married in the fall and that number happened to fall on the second Saturday of October so it worked out for us. Plus, now I have my husband brainwashed into celebrating 3 anniversaries a year (day we met, day we started dating, wedding day) which was part of my evil plan to get a nice meal a few times a year. 

Post # 15
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Mother’s Day is a huge to do in my family so this would go over like a lead balloon.  No way would they be thrilled with a Mother’s Day wedding.

In my area, so many wedding venues have Mother’s Day lunch or brunch so you may have trouble finding a place to have your wedding anyway.

Edit – a lot of Bees will say “you do you” but the moment you involved other people (ie. have guests) it ceases to be all about you.  I am sensing a bit of Bridezilla in you want your freaking day comment.  Our wedding date did not have any meaning when we set it.  Well, now it does!  I’ve never been into significant dates so for me having my venue of choice was more important than a certain date.

The topic ‘I’m new, and I’m stressed.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors