(Closed) I'm new!! Did anyone feel guilty bc their SO couldn't afford the ring?

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 47
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

my Fiance was at uni in his last year only worked one night a week so he only earnt $80 a week and i wasnt expecting a ring until after he was working. Im not sure how he did it but he mnaged to get my gorgeous 14k WG .66caret diamond ring

Post # 48
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I felt guilty about my fiance buying the ring even though it was about $500 (I think) .  I knew he was digging himself out of recent financial troubles (couldn’t have done it on credit), so he saved the money over a course of months.  I didn’t really even want a ring at all–I appreciated the symbolism, but it was hard to get over the idea of wearing that much money on my finger.  Even now, I don’t like to think about how much it cost.

But like others have said, if he had spent a huge amount on it, I’d have marched him right back to the store to return it, haha!  I would’ve been very disappointed in him if he’d spent thousands on a ring when we are going to have to be on a tight married budget and dealing with this economy.  I LOVE my Asha ring, and I love that he saved for it and yet didn’t spend tons of money on it.  If someday we have money to burn, we’ll replace it with a real diamond, maybe.  But in the meantime, it’s stunning and we’re both happy.  And I’m especially happy that the only debt we’ll have when we get married next month is our student loans!

Post # 49
Member
817 posts
Busy bee

My boyfriend and I have finally picked out a ring. I have tried to talk him into getting me a marganite, moissy or a black diamond! He finally caved about the black diamond as long as we could have white diamonds in the ring as well. However yesterday we walked into a jewelry store on saw diamonds on my finger and refuses to put anything LESS on my finger. It’s frustrating because I’d be PERFECTLY happy with a morganite or moissy … or the black diamonds we agreed upon … but now wants me to have a diamond and wont do any less! I totally get the feeling like he shouldnt be spending so much on the ring when we coulf be spending less. I love that he feels I deserve big, sparkly diamonds, but I feel bad that its expensive and more than what I wanted to spend on a ring … he’s very consistent on reminding me that he’s paying for the ring. 

Post # 50
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

The engagement is about a commitment and love, not about the size of the ring. When you see the ring he chose for you, you will love it, because it came from him and he picked it just for you. There’s always options and times later down the road for upgrading or changing.

Be happy being in love. 🙂

 

Post # 51
Member
894 posts
Busy bee

I felt guilty. Sometimes I still do feel guilty when I look down at my finger and realize how much that little circlet is worth. We’re college students, and he spend all summer working a full time job and 2 part time jobs – for both my ring and his tuition. That’s hard for me to live with sometimes! But Fiance always says, “Sweetheart, I didn’t want to spend any less on you. It makes us both very, very happy, and that’s worth it.”

If money gets tight, we’ll consider selling the diamond and getting a moissanite. But I love the sentimentality of the diamond, the amount of work he put into picking out just the right specs… And he wants to keep the diamond too, after all that. It does mean a lot to me, and I guess we’ll always be making more money as we grow old together. 🙂 It’ll pass.

Post # 52
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

i didn’t get an engagement ring when SO proposed. We were both still at uni. It was not after that he had got a decent job, decent pay till we got me an engagement ring. After near 5 yrs of being married, i got a .53 cushion cut, good specs, and good value. Very happy. 

Post # 54
Member
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

he knows i would be happy if he proposed with $20 ring just as much as with $20k, so i don’t have a reason to feel guilty.  

Post # 55
Member
869 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

No. My fiance and I made sure we were financially ready before we made any commitments. We didn’t want to spend money we didn’t have.

Post # 56
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Sometimes, we think about how much extra spending money (we would have if he hadn’t bought the ring although my ring really wasn’t that expensive <$700 ) , and then I look down at my ring and think, he did this because he really reallly really loves me.

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