- 8 years ago
I’ve been with my guy for 4.5 years now. Our relationship has not always been made of lovey fluffy stuff, but we have managed to get through things and prevail.
I cannot remember when I initially brought up marriage, but it must have been ~2 yrs ago..the answer was, “I’m not sure I even want to get married eventually. It does not seem like something that is fun and exciting.” Or at least, that is along the lines of what he said. Since that time, things have gotten slowly better to – “I can see myself getting married”, etc etc.
Well, about a few months ago, I had what many people of this board call a “meltdown.” (Yes, I have been perusing this board for a couple hrs now due to having a free and overly-thinking afternoon). See, he is applying to grad school and the programs he is looking at are all out of state. I basically told him that if we weren’t engaged (I even went as far as saying “married”) by the time he leaves, I will break up with him. Actually, I was ready to break up with him that day if he did not think this would be possible. I truely had made up my mind thinking there would be no way he would go for it and I was ready to really break up with him. Surprisingly, he expressed very honestly that he did not want us to break up and that this would work for him.
Since then, he has applied to schools and gotten interviews. He finds out on monday whether he will get into a school that starts in May. It starts exactly 2 months from now! Eeek! If he gets in there, it is likely he will go..99%.
The only hint I’ve gotten that he may be looking is about a month ago, he asked me my ring size. I told him I did not know what it is. I then proceeded to ask him if he wanted to give me a ring and he just said “no..maybe..yes” with a sheepish grin. Two weeks later was time for our 1 week vacation and I had thought that would be “the time,” but it never happened.
I don’t know what he is thinking now…I’ve had a few freak out moments that we would not be able to keep our relationship if he were to leave the state for school. We would be several hours apart. I do not have the option of moving since I have a house and good job…at least not for another 1.5yrs and grad school for him is 3 years.
I’m anxiously waiting, though I am afraid he may change his mind, especially with the surprise of how early school starts (it was supposed to be not until Fall or next Winter.) Also, what if his school starts and we lose what we have due to distance?