Post # 1
I’m new @ WB, although not all that young (early 40s). This is the first wedding-related site and board I have ever been at and excuse me if I am being too forward – but frankly, I am bewildered by some of the posts I have read at WB since coming here. Posts where men want their ladies to maintain a certain weight or subject their ladies to emotional abuse or are excessively jealous and controlling – situations where everyone @ WB advises to the OP to get the heck out of that situation!
I thought we as women were well past being “expected” get be married in order to fit into society. That no woman had to “settle” for some gosh-awful pig of a man and that now women have many options available to them.
I am NOT trying to criticize anyone at WB! I am genuinely dumbfounded. With some of these guys being posted about, I would seriously be loading my shotgun and demanding they leave. PLEASE explain why women put up with this shit!
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Sometimes it take a few lessons in the school of hard knocks for a woman to realize that she is worth a helluva lot more then what some men offer. And sometimes we are getting a very biased, distorted view of a situation that is much more complex than the OP originally reveals. It can go either way with these posts.
By The Way… welcome to the Bee. 🙂
Post # 4
A lot of us Bees wonder the same thing.
Really what it is – we are all weak human beings and some of are less or more psychologically and emotionally healthy than others. There’s no simple answer. Background and upbringing have something to do with it sometimes. And other times the answer is “love is blind.”
Until you’ve felt someone else’s pain the best thing to do is be comforting and supportive and realize that but for the grace of God that could be you (or me).
In fact, I’ve been in some of those situations myself, in the past, and I know how hard it is to extricate yourself from a bad relationship. It seems easy for someone to sit back and say they know what they would do in the same situation. However, the truth is – until you are in the exact same place – you DON’T know what you would do. So, I say count your blessings if your relationship is good. Things may, or may not, always be that way in your life.
Edit: My friends find it hard to believe that I was once in an abusive relationship. Me, Miss Confidence! It blows their minds, however, I learned from my mistakes, so I won’t remake them again.
Post # 5
It’s easy for those of us in our forties to forget how we felt in our twenties.
We have experience now. We know what we will and won’t put up with. We know and embrace our worth.
sometimes it takes time to get there
Post # 6
This week has had a string of upsetting posts for sure. I don’t think most women on here have these kinds of troubles with their SOs, evident by how many people will speak out against not ok behavior.
Not everyone has the greatest self esteem or independence. There’s not really any good explanation for it other than the wool is over their eyes or they don’t think they deserve better.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Some women have very low self-esteem and don’t realize they deserve better, and that NOT being in a relationship is a gazillion times better than being in one with those kind of guys. It’s very sad.
Post # 8
Thanks so much for the replies! I feel so bad for some of these dear bees, I want to swope them up and give them hugs and somehow make them understand they are beautiful in their own ways and deserve to be loved and respected! Some of these posts make me so sad!
Post # 9
I’m in my 20s and I struggle with some of the posts, as well. It makes me sad to see women who are involved in abusive relationships, whether that abuse is verbal (weight restrictions, etc.), emotional, or physical (or all three).
For some people I think the struggle to feel loved and to love oneself is thrown all around by that abuse. Role models are important, and support all around!
Welcome to WB.
Post # 10
Being one who walked away from Fiance at one point- sometimes the girls make it sound worse then it is or its just a phase but unless they walk away or speak up to HIM- Your right its bad. Its why divorce rates are so high, its why familys fall apart. Its awful and sad,
but its just beacuse the girls want to be loeved so badly they’ll do anything for it. I know i stuck around praying so long for it to change.
I got lucky and since the day I walked away its become 10 x better everyday.
but some gils really do get stuck with nasty piggys.